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P A U 3 A !
Mystery Science Theater—The New and Improved Cast
By: Laura Ebmeier and Sarah Porter – MAK 10
We don’t know about you, but we’ve been spending
these first 5 weeks of getting to know our site communities by turning every minute of consciousness into one
more step up the side of Knowledge Mountain. (And
for those of you nature and mountaineering enthusiasts,
Mt. K is located just a few kilometers outside of Prilep,
nestled beside the beautiful, stripped-bare, trash-littered
granite quarries).
The jetlag we suffered to cross the Atlantic now makes
sense in our post PST-crazed minds. As you all know,
integrating into our new community, taking on the challenges of learning a new language, being serviceminded among other things on this arduous journey are
why we’re all here.
If you’re anything like us, then you’ve spent the past
few weeks getting to know your site by going to work,
researching possible secondary projects, finding a cure
for smog and other carcinogens, meeting your
neighbors, patronizing the local businesses, listening to
your neighbor’s turbo folk through the cement walls,
deep-frying everything in your cupboards, getting assaulted by small, explosive devices at the local disco,
practicing being stared at, feeding the kitties, buying
new cheese, finding a husband, and saving the world.
So, we’ve been busy.
But, believe it or not, we actually still have countless
hours of precious time at our disposal. So we’ve felt the
call of duty to take on yet another task, a profession if
you will. We have become…COUCHSIDE COMMENTATORS. Yes, you just read correctly, couchside
commentators. For those of you unfamiliar with the
vocation of couchside commentary, we learn you now.
Couchside commentary involves spending countless hours on one’s sofa parked
in front of the TV. It involves: roleplaying, voices, inner dialogue, gratuitous amounts of sarcasm, yelling at the
talking box, cursing at the talking box,
whispering sweet nothings to the talky
box, fits of laughter directed at our own
jokes, condescending remarks, fashion
reviews, background development of
characters, calling every female a skank,
calling every male a tool- especially
Robbie Williams, ranking in descending
order the physical attractiveness of the
fugitives from Bounty Hunters, empathizing with the TEFLers in Taipei Diaries, marveling at the fidelity alongside
Tommy Grand in Cheaters, singing
along with Madonna as she gyrates over
her boom box, being hopeful at the future of the
world through Globally Dismissed on MTV, encouraging increased caloric intake to the models of
Fashion TV, giving advice for better camera angles during the hot action after 1 a.m. on channel
17, enduring the grueling selection process of deciding which handball player we would most like
to eat a tost in the park with, doing voice-overs for
predator and prey on Animal Planet, and really,
who are we to judge