Pauza Magazine Winter & Spring 2005 | Page 24

Page 24 P a u z a 2 0 0 5 Top 20: You know you're a PC volunteer in Macedonia when... 20. You have a colleague who regularly tells you how things were better under Communism 13. You get on a bus and hope someone lights up a cigarette so you don't have to smell the exhaust fumes 19. You start thinking that the Spanish siesta has nothing on the Macedonian pauza 12. Talking with a Macedonian you find yourself more interested in the condition of their teeth rather than what they're saying 18. The heavy-handed PC travel restrictions imposed on you give you a good idea of what it must have been like under Communism 11. Every time you hear a car backfire the first thing that comes to mind is "Spring Offensive???" 17. The grant you've been working on for an NGO finally gets approved and the director of that NGO asks if it's possible to have to the money wired to his personal account 10. The people fastidiously close all windows in buildings, cars and buses because they are totally convinced that the slightest breeze on one's face will cause Bell's Palsy 16. You get in a taxi in the capitol and tell the driver the address you want to go to and he pulls out a hand drawn map of Skopje and says "ne znam" 9. One of the ways you can offend your driver is by putting on a seatbelt; to make him move faster than he has in a while, make a motion to open your window 15. Your colleagues refer to you as Mr./Ms./Mrs. "Land of the Free", then ask you to explain to them for the eighth time why you can't go to dinner with them at a restaurant that's just 10 minutes away, but happens to be over the border? 14. After washing your hands in a public restroom you find that there's nothing to dry your hands with so you just wipe them on your pants like when you were a kid 8. You’re the only o