Pauza Magazine Winter 2007 | Page 5

VOLUME 5 ISSUE 1 Page 5 The past two years have definitely changed me, and my outlook on the world. Some of these changes are selfevident. Contrary to what some of you might think (and have suggested), my time outside of the US has absolutely made me appreciate the privileges we all enjoy merely as a result of our citizenship. In most parts of the world, a US passport is still like an "unlimited rides" ticket to the world's amusement park; and I am humbled by all that being American has afforded me. Let me say it clearly, and for the record: I love the United States of America, and am proud to call myself an American citizen. But, as an American living outside of the United States, it is impossible to turn a blind eye to all the ways in which our collective arrogance and selfaggrandizement have tarnished our reputation on the world stage, and have over-shadowed all of the good work that we, as individuals and as a nation, do at home and around the world. I had this opinion before I moved to Macedonia; my time here has only reinforced it. I am also confident that some of the ways in which this experience has changed me won't truly become evident until I leave this place. I know that I see the people and the world around me through different eyes now. I think that I am a better person for this experience. I hope that living here has made me more tolerant, more patient, and more open to new people and new ideas. But only time will tell about all of these things, and all of you will be the judge. I believe that, mostly, Jennifer and I have served as Peace Corps Volunteers with grace and with style. We have had our moments - individually and collectively - to be sure. When we tell you that one year of married life in the Peace Corps is like five years of married life back home, we are not kidding. Just in terms of the sheer number of hours that we have spent together in Macedonia, this is a fact. While it would be absurd (and unfair) to try to suggest that all of our time here together has been "quality time," I can honestly say that I wouldn't trade a moment of it because it has made us who we are now, as a couple and as individuals. It would be naive to think that, after Peace Corps, life will be nothing but smooth sailing for us from here on out. But I know that our "time on the water" over here for the past couple of years has brought us closer together in ways that the winds of time will not destroy (how's that for a mixed metaphor?!). Jennifer: you are my heart and soul, and I couldn't imagine this journey without you. Finally, to all of you at home - thank you. Your love, support, enthusiasm (and care packages!) have buoyed us up throughout these past two years. Not only did a lot of you manage to slog through my much-too-long-and-alltoo-frequent e-mails, but many of you even wrote back to me with words of encouragement, perspective, and incredible insight - which have inspired me, sustained me, and made me laugh...all at the times when I needed those things the most. (Of course, all of those kind words also rewarded my tendency toward verbosity...so I guess you have no one to blame but yourselves for all of my rambling missives!). I know that Jennifer and I could have made this "cruise" alone, but it definitely wouldn't have been the same without all of you to share it wit h us. I guess that about closes out this chapter. Our official Peace Corps Close of Service date is December 22nd. After that...we still aren't completely sure what the next adventure will be. Whatever it is, you can be sure that its early stages will include catching up with as many of you as possible...and even boring you with some of our 4,000+ photos. In the meantime, I will leave you with some wise words from a much wiser man than me: Burned Out? Do not burn yourselves out. Be as I am. A reluctant enthusiast and part-time crusader. A half-hearted fanatic. Save the other half of yourselves for pleasure and adventure. It is not enough to fight for the west. It is even more important to enjoy it while you can, while it’s still there. So get out there, hunt, fish, mess around with your friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forests, encounter the griz, climb a mountain, bag the peaks, run the rivers, breathe deep of that sweet and elusive air. Sit quietly for awhile and contemplate the precious stillness of the lovely, mysterious, and awesome space. Enjoy yourselves. Keep your brain in your head and your head firmly attached to the body, the body active and alive. And I promise you this one sweet victory over our enemies, over those desk-bound people with their hearts in safe deposit boxes and their eyes hypnotized by their desk calculators. I promise you this: you will outlive the bastards. -- Edward Abbey Ajde, Chao! --Sean