Pauza Magazine Fall 2005 | Page 4

How to Judge a Person by Their Handshake It’s true, you can. During my two years in Macedonia, I’ve shaken an estimated 8 zillion hands, and eventually got to know a good number of the people attached to those hands. Comparing a variety of people to their handshakes, I was able to develop a rubric of three major handshake categories and their corresponding character traits. (Ask me sometime about my many other rubrics. Also, I made a time machine out of paper clips and old Newsweeks.) For those of you just reading the first couple paragraphs of all of the Pauza articles, just know this rule of thumb: a person’s handshake will often foreshadow the nature of your working relationship with them. The Dead Fish Handshake: Person’s hand lays limp in yours. Hand may be unusually warm, moist, and/ or sticky – but not in a good way. It’s been said plenty that a weak handshake indicates weak character. If the person lets you whip their arm around like a rubber snake, they’re likely not to stand firm on their commitments and values, either. A dead-fish handshake doesn’t necessarily signify an immoral person per se, but can indicate a submissive person or someone of low self-esteem. The Iron Fist Handshake: Person tries to crush your hand like a bag of chow mein noodles. A firm handshake is one thing, but an overpowering handshake can reveal some critical character traits: (1) a domineering personality; (2) a façade of confidence – i.e. the person learned at some seminar that a firm handshake is “respectable,” but overdoes it in VOLUME 3 ISSUE 2 their conscious effort to impress you so; (3) the person is simply stronger than you, but not observant enough to tone down their grip. Keep in mind that people with smaller hands can also be guilty of an Iron Fist Handshake – the absolute strength is less important than the relative effort being exerted to phracture your phalanges. The Honest Gent’s Good OldFashioned Apple-Pie-andBaseball Handshake: Juuuuuuust right. Not too hard and not too soft. The Honest Gent’s Handshake shows the right balance of strength and sensitivity. Coupled with sustained, direct eye contact, it says, “I stand by my word, but I’m empathetic enough that I won’t try to crush your puny hand.” This may be a good place to mention a brief tip I learned from a fellow PCV: a good handshake starts by looking at the hands, to make sure firm contact is made; then you should look up to meet the person’s eyes. Otherwise, you might end up awkwardly fumbling to get a grip, embarrassing yourself, ruining your organization’s reputation, destroying prospects for future collaboration, and casting yourself into a downward spiral of professional failure and substance abuse. So look at the hands. Exceptions: The Bosom Buddy Handshake (almost strictly a guy-thing): Two parties who know each other well may employ the Iron Fist to express a Paleolithic form of male affection. The Imposter Handshake: An Honest Gent’s Handshake is sometimes just a well-practiced charade of certain ambitious and opportunistic souls – trained in the art of impressing others with his or her handshake, but not necessarily possessing the Honest Gent’s qualities. Watch out for Amway salesmen and Young Republicans on this one. The Artificial Hand Handshake: What may feel like a cold, impersonal, and metallic handshake may actually be a prosthetic hand or hook. Pretend not to notice. “a person’s handshake will often foreshadow the nature of your working relationship with them” Shaun Morrell, MAK 8 Page 4