How to Judge a Person by Their Handshake
It’s true, you can. During
my two years in Macedonia, I’ve
shaken an estimated 8 zillion hands,
and eventually got to know a good
number of the people attached to
those hands. Comparing a variety of
people to their handshakes, I was
able to develop a rubric of three
major handshake categories and
their corresponding character traits.
(Ask me sometime about my many
other rubrics. Also, I made a time
machine out of paper clips and old
Newsweeks.)
For those of you just reading the first couple paragraphs of all
of the Pauza articles, just know this
rule of thumb: a person’s handshake
will often foreshadow the nature of
your working relationship with
them.
The Dead Fish Handshake: Person’s hand lays limp in yours. Hand
may be unusually warm, moist, and/
or sticky – but not in a good way.
It’s been said plenty that a
weak handshake indicates weak
character. If the person lets you
whip their arm around like a rubber
snake, they’re likely not to stand
firm on their commitments and values, either. A dead-fish handshake
doesn’t necessarily signify an immoral person per se, but can indicate a submissive person or someone of low self-esteem.
The Iron Fist Handshake: Person
tries to crush your hand like a bag
of chow mein noodles.
A firm handshake is one
thing, but an overpowering handshake can reveal some critical character traits: (1) a domineering personality; (2) a façade of confidence
– i.e. the person learned at some
seminar that a firm handshake is
“respectable,” but overdoes it in
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their conscious effort to impress
you so; (3) the person is simply
stronger than you, but not observant
enough to tone down their grip.
Keep in mind that people with
smaller hands can also be guilty of
an Iron Fist Handshake – the absolute strength is less important than
the relative effort being exerted to
phracture your phalanges.
The Honest Gent’s Good OldFashioned Apple-Pie-andBaseball Handshake: Juuuuuuust
right.
Not too hard and not too
soft. The Honest Gent’s Handshake
shows the right balance of strength
and sensitivity. Coupled with sustained, direct eye contact, it says, “I
stand by my word, but I’m empathetic enough that I won’t try to
crush your puny hand.” This may
be a good place to mention a brief
tip I learned from a fellow PCV: a
good handshake starts by looking at
the hands, to make sure firm contact
is made; then you should look up to
meet the person’s eyes. Otherwise,
you might end up awkwardly fumbling to get a grip, embarrassing
yourself, ruining your organization’s reputation, destroying prospects for future collaboration, and
casting yourself into a downward
spiral of professional failure and
substance abuse. So look at the
hands.
Exceptions:
The Bosom Buddy Handshake (almost strictly a guy-thing):
Two parties who know each other
well may employ the Iron Fist to
express a Paleolithic form of male
affection.
The Imposter Handshake:
An Honest Gent’s Handshake is
sometimes just a well-practiced
charade of certain ambitious and
opportunistic souls – trained in the
art of impressing others with his or
her handshake, but not necessarily
possessing the Honest Gent’s qualities. Watch out for Amway salesmen and Young Republicans on this
one.
The Artificial Hand Handshake: What may feel like a cold,
impersonal, and metallic handshake
may actually be a prosthetic hand or
hook. Pretend not to notice.
“a person’s handshake will
often foreshadow the nature
of your working relationship
with them”
Shaun Morrell, MAK 8
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