Pauza Magazine Fall 2005 | Página 13

Why Macedonia “Why did you come to Macedonia?” My host cousin asked me (in English). I hesitated. “That’s a big question.” I said, preparing my standard reply to why I joined the Peace Corps (e.g.; to help people, to teach English and have an adventure abroad). “No, it’s not,” she replied. “Why didn’t you go somewhere like France?” I then explained a bit about the process from applying to getting sent to a PC country. This question “Why Macedonia?” is one that I believe I’ll be asked many times during my service. In fact, given the time and opportunity, I suspect that many more locals would ask me this question. I feel it burning behind their stares as I walk down the street, as if silently asking me, “Why are you here?” People are often surprised to learn that I didn’t decide where the Peace Corps would send me. Not only that, I had requested and was nominated for Asia. Why Asia? I’ve always enjoyed going to new places and it’s a part of the world I haven’t really explored (yet). When given the choice, I’ve always preferred to go to a new place, rather than return to a previous location, despite having friends and fantastic experiences there. I thought I already knew Europe, I’d already “been there”, including Greece. Close enough, I erroneously thought. I’d quickly dismissed the region, as if three days each in Paris, Rome, Athens and Brussels was a sufficient illustration of Europe. My first impression is that Macedonia is like a weird and wonderful combination of South America and Greece, especially in terms of physical characteristics. The red tile roofs, pockmarked asymmetrical sidewalks, street vendors and ubiquitous taxi cabs zipping around VOLUME 3 ISSUE 2 Something in the Ajvar remind me of the place I called home for a year in Ecuador. Some of the food, the village babas, donkey-pulling carts and some traditional dances and music remind me of Greece. But this is not Greece, or Ecuador, or Paris, or some time-warped town in the US either. Three minutes in language class is one potent reminder of this. Or biting into a tasty ajvar sandwich. Or the fact that, at times, I am reminded that this is an “adolescent” nation. I think it’s pretty exciting that this may well be the only time in our lives we’ll be living in a country this young and personally witness its “growing pains” as it matures. There’s more unique art, music, history, language and culture of Macedonia that I could mention, but much of it I still have yet to discover, having just been here for a month now. I know that during my service I’ll discover even more wonderful, interesting and surprising uniquenesses that Macedonia has to offer. And this will be even more fuel to the fire of how I will answer the inevitable question, why Macedonia? Why not! I wonder if there's something in the ajvar that makes me feel this way, some secret combination of ingredients that's easing my synapses into new patterns. I've been to a lot of places and I've met a lot of people from a lot of cultures, but I've never had feelings like these and, being an analytical person, I've been trying to use logic to figure out what's happening to me. I've ruled out the honeymoon phase of culture shock. I've been through that before and this is different. I'm not enamored of everything here. I see p l e n t y o f f l a w s . It's not just the great people I've met here, although I've met quite a few. I've met great people other places too, and I’ve never felt these feelings. I don't think it's because I have a great host family, although Fuad and Semra are clearly the most adorable children in the world, and Emine, my host mother, has cooking and hostessing and general homemaking skills that might impress even my grandmother. I've never met anyone who could really compete with Grandma, but Emine could make it into her league. I've known great families in other places, though, and I've never felt like this. The feeling is hard to pin down. It's part appreciation, part affection, part attachment. It's a pull I feel in my stomach, the same kind of pull I feel when I think about my family or America or my hometown of Los Angeles. I know there are plenty of things wrong with them, but they're mine and we belong together and don't try to tell me otherwise. I'm beginning to feel something similar about Macedonia. Maybe it's love, or maybe it's something in the ajvar. Erika Steiger, MAK 10 Jesse Warner, MAK 10 Page 13