Teaching Kids Self-Control
By Sarah Lyons
A
s our children grow, they will be faced with many
difficult choices. Each choice they make will
determine their success in school, friendships,
and their future. Every parent’s goal is to raise kids who
make smart decisions. So how do we begin to teach
them to make good choices in the moment? The answer
is by teaching them self-control. Self-control is defined
as the ability to control oneself, in particular one’s
emotions and desires, especially in difficult situations.
Research shows that it is worth the effort to teach our
kids self-control beginning at an early age. “Kids who
displayed greater amounts of self-control at age four
went on to earn better grades, were more popular with
peers and teachers, were less likely to report problems
with drug use, and earned higher salaries as adults”
(www.thrivingfamily.com). On the other hand, studies
show that “Kids with poor self-control are more likely
to have aggressive behavior problems ... and are also
more likely to experience anxiety and depression”
(www.parentingscience.com). Now that we have
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established the importance of self-control, how do you
go about teaching it?
Encourage activities that teach self-control
Activities like sports, music lessons, or clubs like Boy
Scouts teach kids self-control. Children may not always
want to practice, but spending the time to work on
their skills will help them become more skilled. Parents
can also encourage kids to play games that teach self-
control such as Red Light-Green Light and Freeze Tag.
Having children spending time in solitary activities like
puzzles helps them work toward an achievable goal on
their own.
Give kids responsibilities
Kids who have regular chores they are responsible for
are more likely to learn self-control. Young kids often
need reminders to help them be successful, but older
children can be trusted to get them done by a certain
time each week without frequent reminders. When