project our own changes onto them. My dad had
given me so much in his life, and as I stood there
gazing down at Thirlmere and letting these thoughts
bubble up from their depths, I grasped at the truth
of my own grief: this trip was certainly not its
conclusion, because grief doesn’t come to an end. It
only changes, as we change.
My walk north over the rolling forms of
Stybarrow Dodd and all the others was as bittersweet
as the start of my journey had been oblivious.
Sunshine and blue skies contrasted with those last
few snowbeds, clinging on in sheltered gullies. The
raw cruelty of cancer seemed like an impossibility
in this place – and yet there are submerged truths
here too, white lies we tell ourselves about the
unsullied beauty of Lakeland. Mountains themselves
are indifferent, and their ecology has been degraded
by industrialisation and overconsumption. Like
life, there’s more going on than you can see on the
surface, and we don’t always want to look too closely
in case we see too much.
Those were my thoughts as I rounded a corner
and came face to face with one final obstacle: a deep
bed of snow that curled in an arc around the top of
a gully, drifted deep over the path. The surface was
hard and once again I had to get my axe out and cut
steps, conscious of the nasty run-out to my left.
Something about this hidden snow patch brightened
my mood. It disrupted the narrative I’d been building
in my head, of Helvellyn’s fortress of ice – this snow
patch was on a different hill and at a modest altitude,
and it didn’t care about my metaphors.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID...
Moving, and engaging from the outset. Beautiful
description of the mountain, and a keen
appreciation of his own psychology and his grief,
and this gives the feature much more depth and
interest. They liked the opener and the conclusion,
acknowledging the metaphors you can draw
between your inner life and the mountain but in
the end coming back to the simple appreciation of
being alive and in the open air. A lovely piece. It
was way out in front in the travel category
Judges Carlton Reid (founder of On Your Bike
magazine/former OWPG member) and Elizabeth
Multon (Commissioning Editor of Adlard Coles
Nautical, Bloomsbury Publishing)
The Outdoor Travel Feature Award is sponsored
by OS Pathfinder Guides. Published by Crimson
Publishing, they are Britain’s best-loved walking
guides. Long-established, these high-quality
walking guides offer in total more than 14,500 miles
and circa 6,000 hours of walking in 94 UK titles.
winter 2019 | Outdoor focus 21