34 | OutBoise Magazine | NEWS
Dating and Other Disasters
by Desmond Slowe
OutBoise.com | Issue 10.1 | August 2015
solitary moments. I also get envious of all the
couples I see and would like to participate in that
world, too.
FADE IN: Opening Titles and Music
Change of mind? Change of life?
INT. DESMOND’S LIVINGROOM – DAY
Five weeks ago, I decided to take a chance
and start online dating. I found six gay online
dating sites and created a profile on each. I was
hell bent on putting myself in that wondrous
pool of eligible men and land myself a keeper.
That’s right, Boise. Lock up your single gay men
because NO ONE is safe with Des on the prowl!
Actually, don’t lock them up. Make them quite
available and accessible, please.
CAMERA DESCENDS on DESMOND
SLOWE (known simply as DES), a middle-aged
gay man sitting on his couch, with his laptop
perched on his lap, browsing the Internet.
Des has been a self-proclaimed gay since he was
16 years old and has been single a majority of the
time since.
Lights! Camera! Action!
This is how I see my life – as a screenplay. I am a
voracious moviephile (okay, that isn’t a real word
but it describes me to a T – lover of movies; I go
to at least one movie a week and have done so
for decades. So, it just seem apropos that I would
describe my adventures in online dating as a
screenplay.
So, let’s break down what this whole experience is. The six online gay dating sites I registered with were Zoosk, Match, Chemistry, Plenty
of Fish, OKCupid and Gay Dating.
I am going to give you the whole dirty truth
about these six sites. Let’s begin…
The Funny Named Site First.
Table for one? Yes, please.
I have been single for almost 26 years, except
for a two-month stint in 2011 with a guy named
Dan, I have not dated. I have had sex, let’s not
be crazy! I’ve had one-night stands or little
trysts that were just fun, guilty pleasures with an
emphasis on NSA. I am not lonely. I have a good
amount of friends and I go out and socialize on a
regular basis. I am alone. A completely different
beast in itself. I go to dinner alone. I go to movies
alone. I go on walks alone. I sit at coffee shops
alone writing articles for the local gay magazine. I am used to being by myself and enjoy the
Zoosk was founded in 2007 and “personalizes
the dating experience to help singles find the
person and relationship that’s right for them.”
Zoosk is like the artificial intelligent yenta we
have been looking for - this matchmaker is constantly updating matches to fit your romantic
preferences. Zoosk calls this SmartPick and it is
this behavioral matchmaking that is constantly
learning from the actions of the over 25million
visible members.