32 | OutBoise Magazine | NEWS
Cruising Boise
by Ezikiel Coy
OutBoise.com | Issue 10.1 | August 2015
strangers which is just as prevalent in our community.
Cruising in Boise is a bit more involved than larger cities, but we have much to learn from their experience.
There is a clearly established goal of cruising; to
get your rocks off. To get laid in one way or another
is the over arching goal of the cruising bar, however
there are many things that happen during this elusive
exchange that contribute to the overall mental (and
even spiritual) health of the gentlemen involved.
Though even with the sexual freedom revolutions
of the 1960’s and the social movement towards acceptance of sexuality and the appetites associated
with sex, there are still stringent judgements against
the individual for trying to appease their desires.
Engaging in a conversation with someone when they
show an interest sexually does not mean that you are
agreeing to have sex with them. Instead, it is more
like an interview to see if you are compatible. Even if
that conversation is short before you split a taxi fare.
With much talk in my circle of friends about the
taboo and the depraved, we often discuss the lack
of a truly cruising culture in Boise. Unlike larger cities
that I’ve visited with entire bars dedicated to nothing
but casual encounters, Boise does not have this type
of outlet for men seeking men. Instead, most of our
dealings are done with the anonymity of the internet
through websites and apps. Not that the cruising
within our community is any less prevalent.
Quite the opposite, in fact, with the relative ease
that the internet and mobile apps provide. Despite
not having a “men’s gym” or a dark bar filled with
privacy booths and a black light maze casual encounters happen in the Boise area with regularity and a lot
of assumptions, and I would be remiss not to mention the social judgment of people that hookup with
We live in a strange amalgam of cultures rooted in
the Puritanical, and a disgusting terrifying surprising
amount of negative mindsets persist about gender
and sex. Learning how those mindsets effect your
own judgment is a necessary step toward unlocking
a very human ability to connect intimately to your
sexual partners, regardless of wether those partners
are long term or not. Increasing intimacy is a sure fire
way to increase one’s pleasure from a sexual encounter.
When I say intimacy, I mean connection to your
partner, not the gooey connotation of emotional
attachment. That’s a very different thing in its own
right. I know several people that reserve any sexual
contact for their romantic relationships, and that
works well for them. Personally, I am not one of those.
Learning to communicate physical intimacy is more
than learning to be good in bed. It actually has a
whole lot more to so with eye-contact and trust. Both
of which are nearly impossible things to teach because everyone has different ways of expecting them
when sex is involved.