~by Sara Clifford
When Alyssa Stanley hears two people with beautiful harmonies, she goes down an Internet rabbit hole to find out if they are together as a couple.
“It’s rarely people who are just super talented and decided to sing something that day,” she said. “Really great blending occurs when there’s a deep familiarity and comfort.”
That type of intimacy is even visually apparent with The House Sparrows: The way Alyssa angles her bow and body toward her husband, Matt; the way the corners of his eyes crinkle when her strings sing with his guitar’s.
Their relationship fledged from a love of music.
For the past decade-plus, though, their closest friends haven’t seen this side of them. After one baby, then two, and with dual, demanding jobs—Alyssa teaching and Matt counseling—performing was limited to weddings, fundraisers, and the occasional restaurant.
At a fireside jam in fall 2024, Matt picked up a guitar. “Nobody really knew Matt could do that,” Alyssa said. That led to the couple opening the Hackmania music fest this past September, followed by gigs at Story Inn and Offbeet Bakery—plus, a flurry of songwriting: 12 in about six weeks.
“It sort of hit us: Our kids (Elayna, 16, and Eyan, nearly 13) don’t really need us as much anymore. We could…have that part of ourselves back,” Matt said.
Both started taking music lessons at age five: Matt on piano, then guitar; Alyssa on violin. Both were pastor’s kids, raised on praise and worship in the Church of the Nazarene. Matt’s father’s church was in Odon, Ind.
Alyssa’s father David Hayes’ church was Parkview in Nashville. He then served at churches in Ukraine, Arizona, and other Indiana towns before returning to Parkview.
Matt sang in the children’s choir; Alyssa’s favorite pastime during services was to make up harmonies.
Their paths crossed at Olivet Nazarene University in Bourbonnais, Ill., at an audition. Matt, a senior, had been playing in PR groups for Olivet, worship teams that travel around sharing the university’s Christian mission. Matt was the sole remaining member of PraiZe and was tasked with building a new group.
“Alyssa showed up and I think I had seen her on campus, maybe seen her play violin at some other event once or twice, but I didn’t really know who she was,” Matt said.
Alyssa knew Matt, though. “I remember being kind of like, not fangirl-y, but I was intimidated by him because he was more like a celebrity, and I didn’t know if I could talk to him or not.”
They performed and toured with the heavy-metal praise and worship band Zion’s Wake that year. But a snowstorm and Alyssa’s dad brought them together.
Matt was visiting his then-girlfriend in Milwaukee, Wisc., and hit bad weather. He called Alyssa about staying at her parents’ house in Westfield. The Hayeses weren’t home right at that time—they were busy wrapping gifts for some kids—but gave Matt the garage code. The next morning over coffee and popovers, Matt, a religion major, talked theology with Pastor Hayes for hours.
Hayes offered him a job working with the youth at Parkview. Matt moved here in spring 2005, not sure about the job fit. But, “I fell in love with the nature and the beauty of the area because it’s so different from everywhere else in Indiana. And I decided, yeah, I could make a go of living here.”
Alyssa graduated in May of 2006 and moved home “just for the summer.” She had wanted to teach overseas, but senior year she started to get homesick. She worked at the Artist Colony Inn before becoming a teaching assistant at Helmsburg Elementary, then Van Buren, then a full-time teacher at Helmsburg.
They started dating in spring 2007 and married that December. They’ve been singing together now for more than two decades, though their musical style has shifted into “something like folksy-bluesy- Americana,” Matt says.
In their early days, playing at the old Muddy Boots in Nashville, “People would ask, ‘Do you have an album? ’And we were like, ‘No, why would we have that? We’re not that good,’” Alyssa said. “I just think we needed to realize that our harmony was something people liked…. We started off hearing something (by other groups) and saying, ‘ That’s what we should try’ and building our sound.”
For Matt, the process starts with establishing a library of musical arrangements first, and then having them available to put words to.
“It’s been, really, a return source of connection for us as a couple,” he said, “and then as an individual, it just feels like a piece of myself has been gathering dust on a shelf, has been dusted off, and can shine again a little bit.”
After years building careers and their family nest, Alyssa finds it difficult to recall when she last let her mind be creative and think about a song. She says Matt has always been a strong songwriter and he’s getting better really, really fast. When he does something on the guitar or vocally, she encourages him, and he also encourages her. She says it is hard to get that mutual appreciation when it feels like all you’re doing is making dinner and doing laundry all the time.
They don’t know where The House Sparrows will take them. They’ve started a band page on Facebook, would like to book more gigs, and are open to collaborating. Being authentic and sharing their journey is their priority now. “It’s been really fun to share what is so much a foundational piece of us with the people we love and are close with, because it almost felt like we weren’t really totally honest until we were able to show that side,” Alyssa said. “You don’t really know us until you know this.”