relationship trends
I recently had a discussion with a couple of
friends about the controversy of “taking a
break” from a relationship that may be heading
south. It seemed that the consensus was, if it
was a viable meant to be relationship, you
wouldn’t need a break.
“If someone wants a break, it is often because
they want to play the field,” said one friend.
Another friend completely disagreed,
confidently stating that she knew of a number
of couples that were happily married today
that took a break during their courtship.
wishing to be single. Other couples are truly
addicted to each other. They feel as if they
can’t breathe unless they are breathing the
other’s air. They get caught up in a
dysfunctional pattern of love tests and drama
in order to get the other to “prove” their
devotion. Some couples fit together like hand
to glove from the start and other couples have
a great deal of work to do together before they
hit smoother sailing. Others just aren’t meant
to be.
Before making the decision to take a break,
breakup or give it one more try, here are some
Is there really a right or wrong answer to this?
Goddess Pearls of Wisdom:
Can a break truly create a happy long-term
1. Don’t panic. Communicate and allow
makeup or is it a softer landing into heartbreak
yourself to be vulnerable if one of you
hotel?
mentions a break.
2. Get clear. Ask questions. What is the true
Perhaps the jury is still out on this one because
reason behind this?
people tend to feel rather strongly about this
3. Have you been spending way too much time
conundrum. Most of us know that there isn’t a
together? Does your partner need more space?
relationship that is perfect and that sometimes,
Perhaps a weekend or two away or a night out
even in good solid relationships things can go
with friends more regularly would do the trick.
awry.
4. Do you truly love this person, do you feel
loved by your partner or could it be infatuation
I have counseled and coached many people
that is fading? Have you or your partner been
who asked if they should take a break and my
cheating or thinking about it?
answer was always the same, so I share it here
5. Is your partner becoming more demanding of
with you.
your time? Are you finding that you want more
time or attention because your partner has
The answer is, it depends on the reasons why.
become neglectful or distant towards you?
6. Are you afraid to be alone? Does one of you
I think that sometimes two people really come
want more of a commitment?
together for a time. They learn, they grow,
7. Are you fighting more often and having
they get disappointed, they get turned on and
difficulty making up?
then get turned off. Some couples are truly
8. Has there been dishonesty? Are you getting
addicted to the drama in the relationship.
the intuitive feeling that your partner wants
Perhaps the beginning was a little too perfect
out and is taking the easy way out? Taking a
and now that reality has set in and
break is not something you can just decide
imperfections are in sight. You are
yourself. It has to be agreeable to both
disappointed that the fantasy died. You or
partners and certain rules and timetables need
your partner may have difficulty accepting
to be adhered to. What is scary about a break is
change and reality. All relationships have
that you may take one, really miss your partner,
some ups and downs. Acceptance is key in
want to patch things up and your partner is
order to keep a relationship viable.
ready to move on.
For some the relationship is a roller coaster.
Today we are a couple, tomorrow you are