Rainmakers
Discussions With Someone Who “ Thinks ” They Are Always Right
By Dr . Clifford Ferguson
Having a discussion with someone who thinks they are always right can be frustrating . It ' s best to think about what you want out of the discussion before you jump into the conversation . Also , find ways to help them see your side by redirecting the conversation , and take steps to keep the situation as calm as possible .
Gearing Up for the Discussion
Figure out the underlying cause . Know-it-alls generally fall in one of two categories ( or a combination of the two ). Some know-italls have a deep sense of insecurity , and they try to cover it up by knowing as much as they can . Others actually do think they know it all , so they feel compelled to offer their knowledge to others . Knowing where the person ' s argumentativeness stems from can help you better deal with the situation .
When an insecure know-it-all is told they are wrong about something , it plays into their insecurity , and their defences go up . Try leading questions instead , which work well with this type of person .
With the second type of know-it-alls , it ' s often best to let them have their say , and then try to offer up another opinion .
Know-it-alls generally fall in one of two categories ( or a combination of the two ). Some know-it-alls have a deep sense of insecurity , and they try to cover it up by knowing as much as they can . Others actually do think they know it all , so they feel compelled to offer their knowledge to others .
Determine how much you want to risk in the relationship . Before diving into a discussion with a know-it-all , it ' s important to think about what you ' re willing to lose . That is , think about how important the relationship is to you and how important the discussion is to you . No matter how careful you are , engaging in a discussion can damage a relationship .
For instance , if your boss is a know-it-all , it may be best just to let them think what they ' re going to think most of the time , so you don ' t put your job in jeopardy .
If the person is someone whom you ' re close to , such as a partner or close friend , decide if the discussion is really worth the potential hurt .
Decide what you want from the discussion . In any discussion , you should have an ultimate goal . Maybe you just want them to see your side , or maybe you want them to acknowledge under-performance or hurt feelings . Whatever it is , you need to know what it is before you jump into the argument .
Check your facts before jumping into the discussion . If the discussion is about something that is fact-based , always check your facts first . If you can , bring evidence to the conversation to back up your side . However , when researching , make sure to stick to unbiased sources , instead of ones that just tell you what you want to hear .
Helping them see the other side .
Listen to what they have to say . Even if the person always thinks they ' re right , they still deserve to be heard , just like you deserve to be heard . Listen to their point of view first , taking the time to really hear what they ' re saying .
To show you ' re listening , you can nod along to the conversation , and provide short summaries , such as " So what I hear you saying is ... "
When you take time to listen , the other person will believe that you care about what they think .
Ask questions to get a better understanding . The person may not be particularly forthcoming about what ' s going
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