On The Path - November 2013 | Page 13

2 – Avoid talking over others or finishing someone's sentences.

When we talk over others, we imply that what they have to say is less important than our opinion, is a waste of time or of little value. How do you feel when someone else talks over you, or cuts you off in mid-sentence? Additionally, finishing someone's sentences may show that you have the same understanding of the topic or know where the conversation is going. However, it also may show that you have already come to a conclusion and are no longer listening; that you are rushing the speaker.

3 – Take time to listen. Resist the temptation to hog the conversation.

By taking the time to listen, we open up to the possibility of other points of view, we allow the speaker to be heard, and we reserve our energy. Listening means truly paying attention, and resisting the urge to formulate our next point while the other person is talking. Active listening allows us to reserve mental energy from trying to pay attention and think at the same time, so it reduces confusion in the mind.

4 – Clean up your language and keep it positive.

We can make a point without being vulgar. We can express anger and fear without attacking and insulting someone. Will complaining about everything going on really change the situation or are the complaints a request for help? Consider creating a conversation space where everyone can have a conversation that feels supportive, constructive and forward thinking instead of destructive and critical, which helps no one.

5 – Pause before you speak and examine your intention.

Taking a moment allows for time to consider the following questions. Is what I am saying relative? Is what I am saying necessary? Is it my place to say it? What is my intention in saying it? Is my intention honorable or harmful?

Remember that life is practice not perfection. Be kind to yourself as you consider and explore your speech. We cannot control how others respond to how we speak and what we say, but we can control our responses to others. You can always choose to leave a harmful conversation. Get back on your horse and add new lessons to your cart.