On the Coast – Over 55 Issue 33 I January/February 2020 | Page 24

Start the new year
with intention
BY ADRIENNE GARSIDE
W
e have all done it, probably
more than once. Chomped
through leftover Christmas
turkey, pudding and heavily salted snacks
while the dreaded spectre of new year’s
resolutions looms ever closer. When the
clock strikes midnight on December 31, all
of life’s pleasures cease. We adhere to
strict diets involving kale and cottage
cheese. We rise at 6am every morning to
endure punishing exercise routines. We
go to bed at 9pm, having made extensive
notes about five things we are grateful for.
No wonder most new year’s
resolutions don’t last until February.
It’s natural to embrace the new year as
a time of renewal. No matter your age, it
offers the possibility of starting over with
a clean slate. How exciting! The problem
is that in our enthusiasm, we sometimes
forget certain realities, namely:
ƒ human beings are imperfect
ƒ life is full of unexpected twists and
turns, and
ƒ sometimes you just really, really want
a piece of chocolate.
A good way to take account of these
facts is to shift focus from resolution to
intention.
What is an intention?
The Oxford Dictionary refers to intention
as ‘an aim or plan’. Unlike setting a
resolution or goal, an intention does not
include a set of steps designed to achieve
a desired result. Rather, intention is what
guides our thinking about our future
plans. In other words, where resolutions
tend to be very specific, intentions offer a
‘big-picture’ perspective.
For example, a new year’s resolution
might be, ‘I will go to the gym at least
five times a week and exercise for an
hour’. That is an admirable goal, on paper.
But what happens when real life creeps
in – you have an appointment you can’t
miss, or you are called on to help a family
member at the last minute? Your new
year’s resolution quickly becomes a
source of guilt and irritation.
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Contrast that example with an
intention on the same theme: ‘I intend to
take good care of my body and my mind’.
This intention still states a clear aim that
is positive and inspiring. But it is not tied
to a rigorous and inflexible set of actions.
Intention is like resolution’s kinder,
gentler cousin.
Practise self-compassion
One key advantage of setting an
intention is that it encourages a relaxed
and accepting attitude towards the self.
Choosing the phrase ‘I intend to’ instead
of ‘I will’ (or the dreaded ‘I should’) clears
space for real life to unfold. It assumes
that mistakes will be made and setbacks
will occur, and that is a normal part
of human experience. Accepting this
frees you to return to your intention
straight away, without spending hours
ruminating on your perceived failure.
Perhaps this sounds like letting yourself
off the hook too easily, especially if
you’ve been conditioned to believe, ‘no
pain, no gain’. But being harshly self-
critical is rarely an effective motivational
tool. In fact, it takes a heavy toll on
physical and mental health over the
longer term.
One thing at a time
As the old saying goes, Rome wasn’t built
in a day. Another key reason people
struggle to form positive habits is they
try to do too much, too soon. Changes are
more likely to stick if you work at one
thing at a time. Intentions work in the
same way. Create one intention at a time.
Use positive and direct language that
reflects your own priorities and values.
You may choose to repeat your intention
whilst meditating or simply recall it
throughout the day. You can adapt your
intention over time according to what
inspires you. Doesn’t that sound nicer
than those new year’s resolutions?
Now, please pass the chocolate.
Adrienne Garside works for Iris Foundation, a charity that aims to reduce the risk of suicide on the
Central Coast. The Foundation achieves this by facilitating and supporting awareness campaigns,
programs and partnerships which enhance community connectedness and well-being. For more
information, please visit: www.irisfoundation.org.au.