On the Coast – Over 55 Issue 28 I March/April 2019 | Page 12

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truths
By Sarah Tolmie
O
ne of the familiar dilemmas
moving into the ‘third-age’ of
life is the issue of where to live.
Once the family home becomes
too big for two or one, should you
downsize? Should you consider
your next move to be a ‘by design’
over 55’s lifestyle village or might
you need a more supported
environment with higher care
options for the future? Or are
you happy where you are?
When do you begin planning for this?
These conversations with your partner
and family can be very confronting
and challenging – and for some – a very
unwelcome contemplation. It can bring
up deeper issues about independence and
financial capacity, as well as stir up the
family dynamics, revealing any cracks
and fissures of relationships between
parents, children and siblings.
No wonder it is a conversation that is
so often avoided until it becomes a crisis
or issue. However, these conversations
are worse when left too late, and options
can become limited when you are on the
back foot.
Just because we are growing older
doesn’t mean we stop planning for our
future life. It doesn’t mean you don’t
still plan for the best life you can have.
Sure, be sensible and practical and have
your Plan B in place too, but today, the
invitation is to be bold, be brave, be
excited even, and make plans for the best,
plans that have you excited and happy
for your future life and love.
Some things to consider are:
How do I want to spend my time? What
brings me joy? For example if you are
still very social and active and you
move about the community a lot, it may
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S E N I O R S O N T H E C OA S T
determine you stay local
and close to transport
and your favourite
places. Do you love
beach or bush? City
or Country? Dream up
your greatest outcome
and work out what you can
make reality.
Just
because we
are growing older,
doesn’t mean we
stop planning for
our future
life.
What is not working for me currently?
What don’t I want/need anymore? For
some people, this might be the upkeep of
a garden and an old or large house that
needs regular maintenance. It may
invite the idea for a modern upgrade
into an apartment or villa lifestyle. Do
you need to ditch the stairs and hills?
Certainly my current ‘treehouse’ with a
million stairs might not work for us in
another decade’s time!
Do I need to be closer to family &
friends? Do I need better access to
support, care and community?
OK, so this maybe a bit close to the
bone uncomfortable, but I invite you to
consider this now and take charge of
these future contingencies before you
don’t get a say. My 75year old active
and engaged and funky fashion icon
of a mum recently sold her home of 30
years and opted for an apartment style
luxe 55+ lifestyle in the same area. She
was not prepared to move away from
where her friends and life happens and
she loves being close to a ‘community’
where everyone knows each other.
There are communal gardens and a
residence lounge for easy, visible access
to a village style way
of being and then she
can retreat into her
own independent and
private home. There
are lifts as well as
stairs, and in theory, we
can see this arrangement
suiting mum through for
many years and decades to
come. In fact, we hope this could be her
only and last move, with services easily
brought in to support her needs should
her capacity ever reduce.
What can I afford?
And most importantly, a conversation
with a financial planner is advisable, but
for now, the first questions might be,
is the capital in your home best kept as
an asset or do I need to release the cash
to fund a more suitable lifestyle plan?
How will changes affect my Will and
current financial commitments and any
dependents or family needs? Is there
enough to cover me living a full long life
and adapt to my changing needs?
Our homes are important sanctuaries
and how we arrange our living space has
a significant impact on how we feel
supported and able to live and love in the
way that best suits us. They are unique
expressions of us and our relationships.
As we grow and change and evolve, our
home space can and does change and
evolve around us. In many ways, the
most important consideration is how will
this home space support me to live and
love best?
Much love, Sarah
Sarah Tolmie is a life & love coach, therapist and consultant. Her practice focuses on helping individuals, couples
and families navigate, grow and heal through all their life & love events, changes and challenges – including love,
marriage & family relationships; success, health & wellness; and grief & loss, as well as coping with illness, dying
and death. Sarah is also a Life & Love Celebrant, and Pastoral Care Practitioner, creating profound and meaningful
ceremonies for all life & love events. You can visit her website www.sarahtolmie.com.au and receive her Daily
Love updates on her Facebook page at Sarah Tolmie – Life & Love.