On the Coast – Families Issue 97 I December/January 2019 | Página 13

This holiday as well as they are treated. So why don’t we expect the same for children? Human beings of ALL ages will tend to operate on this very same principle. We will all behave as well as we are treated. Our response to being treated well is to treat others well in return. As quoted by Dr Elliot Barker, director of the Canadian Society for the Prevention of Child Abuse, puts it beautifully. “Children who have their needs met early by loving parents are subjected totally and thoroughly to the most severe form of ‘discipline’ conceivable: they don’t do what you don’t want them to do because they love you so much!” This holiday season try slowing down a bit to make the time for rest and reconnection. Try only using ‘no’ for things that may cause harm. Stop cluttering the airwaves with a thousand ‘don’ts’ for things that really don’t matter. And try rephrasing your commands into invitations to cooperate: ‘Let’s put on some quiet music and take a ten-minute rest. Do you want to sit with me here on the couch or have a lie down in your bed while we rest?’ and ‘Let’s all do a five- minute tidy and see who can pick up the most toys, okay? Ready. Set. Go!’ Set the tone for a much happier home and a better parent/child relationship rather than ‘CALM DOWN NOW!’ or ‘Pick up your toys before I throw them all away!’ Also work on adjusting your expectations to account for the extra busyness and stress of the holidays. The next time you feel yourself getting upset about the mess in your little one’s room, take a moment to stop and think, ‘is this season, try slowing battle about me and my expectations of a ‘clean’ house? Is it age appropriate to expect them to do it on their own? Can I help and ‘show’ my child how to respect their space? And most importantly, does it really matter? Is this a battle worth fighting or can I choose to close the door and come back to this later? Personally, I want to be more conscious of ending 2018 the same way that I would like to start 2019. I choose to align myself and my family with the same values that I would like to begin next year with. Simplicity. Love. Friendship. Laughter. Respect. Nature and Connection. I want to close the year by not rushing into it, by slowing down as the year wraps up, spending time with my family and enjoying even the angst and exhaustion of having an overtired young family because that is us right now and that’s ok. With time I have realised that this season I will never get back again. One-year blurs into the next, and then another year passes, and another. The age of my girls will never be again, I know now that every Christmas holiday is different. Next year our daughters will be another year older and it will be different yet again… SO please try to keep this in mind amidst the crazy: Say ‘no’ to whichever social function doesn’t align with you or your family, be mindful of the words that you are using when talking to your children. Enjoy the little and big moments, the significant ones and the simple. But mostly have gratitude for those moments this year, the moments that you will never get back. Because no matter if those moments were dark or light in nature, they are still your moments. ALL of those moments that you have created are the reason that you are here now, even if that reason isn’t yet in the light. And remember as Jan Hunt so succinctly stated, ‘Every child is no less a human being than we are.’ So, let your children have their human moments, too, good and bad. Try not to overload, over schedule and overwhelm them with your plans and lists and activities. After all, it’s their holiday as much as it is yours. Slow down and let them experience the magic instead of just the mania. down a bit to make the time for rest and reconnection. Nikki Smith is a Registered Nurse and a Qualified Child and Family Nurse. A mama of three beautiful daughters with a strong belief in raising our children consciously and intuitively. Nikki is the founder of Earthway Parenting andhas developed and is facilitating Post Partum Care and Tuning into your Toddler Workshops. Nikki also provides in home, one on one consultations according to the unique needs of your family focusing on gentle parenting for your infant and/or toddler. You can find more information here www.earthwayparenting.com.au for all your Birthday Party needs Boost literacy skills! ® The I Can Read literacy system arose from research undertaken by Australian educational psychologists, it has now gained global success with over 50,000 students in seven countries. I Can Read centres are total literacy centres, covering all aspects of literacy including: • • • • reading • spelling • vocabulary • comprehension grammar • written composition • public speaking drama • preparation for kindergarten preparation for selective schools Book in for a free assessment at Erina Fair with Clare Egan – MSpeEd (Newcastle) by calling 0438 284 739 ® For excellence in literacy, always consult professionals. Designed and supported by educational psychologists. [email protected] www.icanreadsystem.com Phone [phone] I 4330 0188 DECEMBER/JANUARY – ISSUE 97 13