On the Coast – Families Issue 94 I June/July 2018 | Page 37

Taking stock in
Motherhood matters
by Leanna McNeil
D
o you ever slow down, put
your feet up somewhere quiet,
and think about what you want?
At every stage of our child’s
development we are faced with
new and nagging worries about
getting it right for our children and
the challenge of finding ways to
get it right for ourselves.
It is an infinite juggling act, attempting to
be mother and be true to ourselves, as
individuals. We are taught to be nurturing
and to give our deepest love to our families,
and yet there is much less talk about our
own needs, our own nurturing of self.
At each stage of my sons development
I take some time to think about:
What I remember (or imagine) was
important to me when I was his
current age. (eg. My parent’s attention,
and willingness to do fun things with me)
What I feel (or imagine) I missed out
of receiving when I was his current
age.(eg. I wanted my mum to play with
me more without my siblings involved)
What I would like for myself at this
stage as a parent (eg. to be present to
my son, and share in his interests)
What I would like for myself at this
stage just for me.(eg. Make time for
more movement so that I can fit into my
favourite skinny jeans again).
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2
3
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It is an infinite juggling act,
attempting to be a mother
and be true to ourselves,
as individuals.
These reflective questions are
fantastic as they work powerfully
together to create a sense of deeper
clarity for you to approach your current
experience as a parent. Perhaps a phase
or new changes are approaching, or
you’ve become aware of personal desires
that are increasing. Ask ing yourself
these questions will help you make
choices from awareness, allowing you
to gain a larger perspective on what you
may need and want. Not just for your
child, but also for yourself.
Checking in with yourself to review
what life was like when you were your
child’s age can offer big opportunities
for you to gift your child with something
that you wish you had received from
your own parents. This offers deep
healing as it puts you in touch with the
child in you, your personal value system,
and supports you to understand why
parenting specifics mean a lot to you.
This tool is also really helpful in
alleviating guilt in wanting to support your
own needs by highlighting something that
you would deeply like to gift yourself. By
considering your own need, not just your
child’s, you build a balancing act between
the different parts of you that maintain
different needs. And an extra bonus is that
by balancing your needs with your child’s,
you are inviting them to understand you
better and to recognise that you are just
like them and have needs too. What a great
way to teach your children how to care for
others and themselves. A win win! You are
the expert on you. You’ve got this!
Leanna McNeil offers psychotherapy, holistic counselling, energetic healing, intuitive remedial massage
and cupping and transformational bodywork out of her gorgeous centre Sana Wellness at Erina Hts.
When she isn’t in private practice she is passionately facilitating wellness retreats with Wellness
Bootcamp, Ontrack and Women’s Wellness Retreats. Ph: 0424 098 913
Caring for you and your family
High quality health care
• Women’s health services
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postnatal care
• Qualified registered
nurses and midwife
• Immunisations
• Family health • Incontinence
• Travel Vaccinations • Skin cancer checks
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JUNE/JULY – ISSUE 94
37