On the Coast – Families Issue 93 | April / May 2018 | Page 37

Girls to Women;
Boys to Men
by Julie Hale
F
or more than 100 years many
countries have been
celebrating International
Women’s Day (IWD) on 8
March. The UN gave it
official sanction in 1975,
International Women’s
Year, and it appears that
the first official IWD
event in Australia was
25 March 1928.
While not involved in any of
these events, I do know a bit
about the celebration of IWD, as for
several years during my corporate life,
I was responsible nationally for things
“Cultural” and as such was ‘in charge’
of preparing an event each year to
celebrate IWD to support, enable and
encourage women in the workplace to
achieve, perform, develop and lead. The
organisation employed more than 80%
men!. Many of whom asked – often the
same ones each year; “Why don’t we
have a Men’s Day”? I think I still have the
scars from biting my lip every year so as
to retain my (and their) dignity.
These days I happily attend events
arranged by others and quietly observe,
support and enable other girls and
women in their trials and tribulations.
I also strive to guide and assist girls and
boys to create a more equitable world
for everyone. This year IWD sparked
for me some interesting realisations as
I observed my children react to an IWD
event at our public high school.
In discussing the school day events,
around the 8 March, our outgoing,
articulate, high-flyer teen reported “Its
“Women’s Day, Mama, [as if I didn’t
know] she continued “We went to the
hall and there was some speeches and
stuff and Trudy* was in the group that
sang some songs and stuff”. (Not the
exact words, but essentially the same
message and tone). Soon after, one of said
songs was serenading us from “YouTube”,
arrhh the joy of parenting teens.
As I asked a few open-ended
enquiring questions, my jaw dropped
further and further as I realised that my
understanding of the intention and
purpose of International Women’s Day
– was either lost to our teen girl or [lets
hope] simply lost in translation. Because,
Parents and Teens do speak different
languages don’t they?
While I recovered from the realisation
of this gross difference – Husband/
Father literally stepped in (from
the kitchen where he was, perhaps
ironically, preparing the dinner) and
unbidden, outlined, his perception of
IWD. He calmly and clearly stated my
own knowledge and previous experience
of IWD and also cited, in particular,
“Malala” and her quest for the right for
girls worldwide to be educated. Both
children agreed with the notion that all
children should have the right to go to
school and learn. Phew! But wait, there’s
more…
When I had calmed my slightly
ruffled feminist feathers, I gently asked
the teen “Who went to the Hall; was
it the whole school or just the girls?.
“Oh, just the girls, [again] it’s Womens
day, Mama” [in that tone] (“Calm those
feathers”, I thought!) – “Oh, OK But,
Um Where did the boys go? (innocent
question, right?) – she didn’t know,
and what’s more thought it an
odd question, because “Hullo! it’s
Womens Day, Mama”.
This and ensuing discussions
with our family and friends got me
thinking about the meaning and
intention behind our messages and
actions.
What is the impact of excluding
the boys from the “Women’s Day
session with speeches and songs and
stuff”? At least some of these boys-
are-those-that-will-become-the-men
that will walk alongside these girls-
that-will-be-women as they fight for
equality in our world. What message
are we sending them if we exclude them
from an event celebrating the struggles
and achievements of woman? And
what message do the girls have if their
struggles and achievements are debated
and celebrated in isolation from the
boys/men?
I wonder therefore more broadly
about the messages we are sending our
children in our language and actions,
not just about this social issue but many.
They learn from all the others in their
daily life; teachers, friends, grandparents,
aunts, uncles, actors, YouTube...So we
should be careful about the perspectives
they have and not assume anything
about what they might glean from
around them. I know I’ve been reminded
to step more carefully and ask even more
questions before making assumptions,
and I’ll challenge you to ask yourself
“What messages are you giving?”
* Not her real name
Reference: First IWD – A History of International
Women’s Day
www.isis.aust.com/iwd/stevens/firstiwd.htm
Julie Hale has an MA in Industrial Psychology and has varied career experiences in NZ and Australia
within the Medical, Military and Corporate environments, having specialised in aircrew, engineer and
nursing selection and training. Travel experiences, have been with and without children, from 1–5 star, in
NZ, Europe, the Americas and Antarctica. Many and varied travel experiences have included bulldozers
in Antarctica, horseriding in Chile, a hike to Macchu Picchu and a visit to the Pyramids with Deaf friends.
Julie currently spends much of her time volunteering at the school, taxiing children to sports and cultural
events and more recently supervising HSC exams.
APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 93
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