On the Coast – Families Issue 93 | April / May 2018 | Page 14

Teaching our children
respect and responsibility
by Katharine Duck
R
espect is a positive regard or
feeling towards another
person. To show kindness,
politeness towards others. It’s
important to pass this on to our
children as it makes for a better
home life, better relations in the
community and in school for us
and our kids.
Responsibility is when we own our
action, being accountable
and not blaming others. Not
always easy to own up and
take responsibility when we
have done the wrong thing
and even harder to say sorry.
We are not born knowing
how to be respectful, we learn
it from others, especially
from our role models such
as parents, family members
and teachers. The best way
to teach respect is to show
respect to others. Respect for
others cannot be demanded
or commanded, we need to
show respect to get respect
in return. Even when we aren’t shown
respect we should still live by our
standards and be respectful. Of course,
there are times when we are flustered
or not in a good mood and we snap at
someone, our kids see this. Not our best
parenting moment, so what can we do?
Sit down and discuss the situation with
our kids. Explain that what happened
wasn’t the most appropriate way to
deal with the situation. Apologise for
behaving that way, we aren’t perfect and
it’s necessary our kids realise this too.
We take responsibility for our actions
and we don’t make excuses, we just own
our behaviour.
When our child is disrespectful
towards us or others we need to stay
calm and sit down with our child and
ask them what happened, it’s important
we are patient and allow them to talk.
They learn to work out their feelings and
stay level headed instead of becoming
anxious. Then we are able to chat with
them about the situation and suggests
ways it can be done next time. For our
kids to learn respect it’s important
to take the time to explain why their
actions were disrespectful and that they
understand this.
Being able to say sorry, we are able to
let the situation go and not carry it with
us. Whether we admit it or not we know
we have done the wrong thing and it
plays on us. When we say we are sorry
we are taking responsibility for our own
actions. Our children should
be taught how to genuinely
say sorry and to accept
responsibility.
Teaching responsibility
takes time and lots of
practice, starting with
getting them to help you
with chores, clearing away
their pencils when they’ve
finished drawing. Talk
about behaviour and being
kind to others. The more
you talk with your child
the more they grow to be
happy, caring young adults
with respect for others. We
should lead by example and apologise
when we make a mistake, even to our
kids so that they then can apologise to
others. Saying sorry makes us a better
person for it.
Katharine Duck is a counsellor in Umina Beach on the Central Coast, working with kids aged between
5 and 12 years. Katharine empowers kids against bullying, build resilience and strategies to reduce
anxiety. She runs individual and group sessions.
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