On the Coast – Families Issue 93 | April / May 2018 | Page 10

The importance of
attachment
A
s a parent, we want our
children to be happy, enjoy
family life, have good friendships,
do well in school, have high
self-esteem, be kind, and reach
their full potential. Many studies
have shown that all of these
things are possible when children
have a secure attachment with at
least one loving caring and
protective parent.
But what is meant by attachment?
Attachment is about the quality and
security of the relationship between
by Lindie Nell
a parent/caregiver and a child. A
secure attachment is a special trusting
emotional connection where the child
uses the primary caregiver as a secure
base to explore from and as a haven of
safety and comfort. A secure attachment
also regulates emotions by soothing
distress and creating moments of joy.
This wonderful connection between a
parent and child is a child’s life line and
will impact on all future relationships.
Not all children form secure attachments
with their parents. Insecure attachments
can present in children as behavioural
difficulties, being withdrawn, emotional
regulation problems, sensory integration
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problems, hyperactivity, and other
difficulties such as attention problems,
anxiety and a lack of empathy.
People often assume when a child is
insecurely attached that this is due to
neglect, abuse, inconsistency or rejection
by their parents. These aspects can
indeed result in insecure attachment or
even attachment disorders. However,
these are not the only reasons children
can form insecure attachments. I often
work with children and their parents
where they have insecure attachments
due to unintentional circumstances. An
example of this is birth trauma where
a baby has been removed and cared for