On the Coast – Families Issue 105 I April/May 2020 | Page 14

Staying
in uncertain times
BY SARAH TOLMIE
W
ith the bush fires all calmed
by March it seemed like
finally we could exhale with
relief and rebuild and resume lives and
then the Coronavirus pandemic arrived.
As I write this now in mid-March, by
the time you read this in April, who knows
whether the escalation has happened or
subsided or remains. Did the community
tip into corrective action in time or not?
Did we ‘flatten’ the infection curve?
All the information so far suggests
we will be ‘in this’ on high alert for
months, requiring significant behaviour
modifications and changes to our lives,
and the aftermath will be a long recovery
back to another ‘new normal’.
This new decade is sure bringing
uncertainty and challenge. None of us
really know what this ‘new normal’
future might look like. For now, it really
does feel like we are deep into survival
times and the stress and anxiety is real.
All families are being affected – mentally,
emotionally, physically, financially,
relationally and spiritually.
It’s hard not to slide into a bit of
fatalistic thinking sometimes and wonder
if Mother Nature is resorting to her own
cosmic correction. It’s hard not to be
pulled into the beast of panic and mob
thinking. And in these times of extreme
we are seeing both the best and worst in
human behaviour.
How do we stay calm? How do we
reassure our family and children when
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ON T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES
we don’t know ourselves what’s around
the corner? The challenge is to maintain
informed awareness and hold steady.
Information is knowledge but only
the right information will save lives.
Just like with the bushfires, we need
one trusted source of correct and timely
advice that everyone has access to follow.
Get updated regularly but don’t saturate
yourself in the media circus.
My advice for what it is worth is
to tune into the ABC. It is the first
place that the Government go also to
distribute necessary public information.
Now is not the time to rabbit hole into
a bizarre Facebook group or follow a
small localised group of friends for your
information.
Holding steady? Well that is a holistic
task of deeper and more personal
reflection.
Being in a prolonged ‘survival’ mode
can place us in a chronic state of ‘fight,
flight and freeze’ response where our
sympathetic nervous system goes into
flood. What will be asked of us as we
face months of ongoing developments is
to bring far greater regulation and care
to our nervous system and our holistic
wellbeing. We need to become
masterful at soothing our stress and
tilting back into a parasympathetic
rhythm which is our natural healing
and whole state of wellbeing.
Some of the things that might usually
be our ‘go to’ de-stressors might not be
available to us – travel, parties, holidays
to name just a few. Instead, with the
isolation and distancing I think one of
the most important skills and necessities
in the coming months will be for people
to learn how to still their mind and create
inner peace.
This is not to be confused with
‘positive thinking’, far from it. In fact,
trying to force positive thinking when
you feel insecure and unsafe or scared is
in and of itself an unsettling and
stressful thing to try to do. It is more
important to have a quiet mind than a
positive mind.
This is where I have what I think
might be an unusual but powerfully
successful suggestion. It is a technique I
utilise regularly with my coaching and
therapy clients with great results. It is...
drumroll...ritual and prayer!
Stay with me. It is not really that
weird and it doesn’t have to be something
of religious origins, although great if
you bring that to it too. There is science
behind this.
Ritual and prayer help to bring
soothing and silence to the mind. Ritual is
the art of creating meaning. Ritual is
about bringing symbols, actions and
intention to something that is bigger than
you can personally solve and it can help
release excess energy wrapped up in that
narrative. It is something you can engage
your family and loved ones to share with
you too, either in person, and/or in spirit!