On the Coast – Families Issue 101 I August/September 2019 | Page 9
FOLLOW THROUGH
If you have stated that they cannot play
outside until they have packed up all
of their toys, then you need to follow
through with that.
Packing up toys is usually one of our
expectations as parents because we like
to keep a tidy house, your toddler would
be more than happy to walk through and
around their toys all day long!
Therefore, packing up for them is
neither fun nor necessary.
To make packing up fun and a little
easier we sing a song together, ‘it’s time to
pack away, the work is done, we’ve had
our fun, its time to pack away,’ on repeat
while packing away the toys. All three of
our girls have packed away without a fuss
while we’re singing that song!
If packing up still doesn’t happen, then
you need to follow through with the
mindful consequence that you’ve stated.
I say mindful because the consequence
you give always needs to be fair for their
age and related. Packing up indoor toys
so that they can play with their outdoor
toys is fair and related.
REFLECTIVE LISTENING
Listening is where it’s at the absolute crux
of human connection. Listening carefully
to your little people from the very start is
the best way to show them that you care
– you are willing and able to connect
wholeheartedly.
When you open up your heart space to
truly listen, really connect unconditionally
and without judgement your child’s
emotions will rock you to the very core-
they lead with love because they know
nothing else. So, let’s do the same.
Stopping what you are doing, listening
and then reflecting to your toddler what
it is that they have said, this will then
show them that you are really hearing
them, that being heard matters and that
you are respecting their feelings.
If you are wondering if your child
really is a good listener or why it seems
that they never hear you; Go deep
and lean in – are you wholeheartedly
listening to them?
A HUG
No one is ever too little (or too big!) for
a hug! Hugs literally change our mood,
when we hug someone, oxytocin is
released into our bodies via our pituitary
gland, it then begins to lower both our
heart rates and our cortisol levels.
Cortisol is the hormone that is
responsible for stress, so why wouldn’t
we want to increase our connection
with a big hug so it can benefit both of
our wellbeing, especially after a big
upset!
As parents our children will naturally
turn to us in times of comfort; They look
up to us to show them the way. In early
childhood they need our assistance in
regulating their big emotions and
feelings, we can begin to do that
mindfully if we put some thought into it,
because after all, we are their role
models.
Being a mindful and conscious parent
is a HUGE responsibility and sometimes I
will literally feel the weight of that upon
my shoulders and in my heart.
What I do know though, is that when
I practice softening my approach with
my children I will noticeably see them
soften too.
It takes A LOT of patience!
Always a few tears (on my part too!)
but with your actions and words
changing to a softer state of being you
can begin to change your child’s
intense reactions too.
When we can begin to think
mindfully about how we wish to parent
our children we will then be able to
become more accepting of the things in
life that we cannot change (such as their
fiery temperament!) and begin to be more
about living in the now.
When we stop fighting fire with
fire, we can then begin a new journey
into mindful parenting, a journey into
contentment, doing exactly what we are
designed for.
Being in the moment with our
children.
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Nikki Smith is a Registered Nurse and a Qualified Child and Family Nurse. A mama of three beautiful
daughters with a strong belief in raising our children consciously and intuitively. Nikki is the founder of
Earthway Parenting andhas developed and is facilitating Post Partum Care and Tuning into your
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AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 101
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