OMG Digital Magazine OMG Issue 268 20th July 2017 | Page 6

OMG Digital Magazine | 268 | Thursday 20th July 2017 • PAGE 6
SoulFood
What Taking Care
of Yourself Really
Means
Within each of us there lives a sweet, defenseless
creature in need of a little tenderness.
By Elizabeth Gilbert
I was recently speaking at a church event in the Midwest
when a woman in the audience stood to ask a question.
Before she even opened her mouth, I got a vibe off
this person, and that vibe was: neglect. I don’t mean
to say that she wasn’t tending to her beauty regimen
(honestly, who cares?); I mean this woman just looked
neglected—the way an unloved animal looks after
years of disregard. She emanated stress and loneliness.
Then she asked her question, and she really broke my
heart.
“I don’t understand what people mean when they say
we’re supposed to love ourselves,” she said. She began
to cry. “How do I do that?”
She stared at me with desperation in her eyes, and I saw
it again: the neglected animal that lived within her. So I
said, “You need to start taking care of your animal.”
She looked confused, so I went on. “You need to stop
thinking of yourself as a human being and start treating
yourself like the traumatized little animal you are.”
I could see she was still puzzled, so I broke it down
further. “Have you ever seen a frightened dog in a cage
at a rescue shelter?”
She nodded.
“Pretend you’ve just adopted that dog from a kill
shelter. You don’t know anything about this animal’s
history—and you don’t need to know. You can see she’s
been abused, and she’s afraid of being abandoned or
hurt again. Now imagine this: It’s your first night home
alone with that dog, and she’s trembling in fear. How
would you treat her? Would you scream at her and tell
her she’s an idiot? Would you kick her? Would you lock
her in a dark room all alone? Would you starve her or
let her binge-eat a bunch of garbage? Would you let
her stay in an environment where other dogs attack her
every day?”
“No,” said the woman. “I would take care of her.”
“Aha!” I said. “So you do know how to love an animal.
You would offer her a warm and safe bed, right? Healthy
food. A cozy environment. Walks in the sunshine. Fresh
air and clean water. Careful socialization with other
animals—nice ones that don’t bite. Naps. Tenderness.
Affection. Playtime. And lots of patience. That’s how
you love an animal.”
“But that’s an animal,” she said. “It’s easy to love an
animal.”
“Well, that’s good news, because you’re an animal, too.”
I try never to forget three words the great Cole Porter
wrote: “We’re merely mammals.” Hundreds of thousands
of years before we developed our complications and
neuroses, we were just another warm-blooded life-form
trying to survive in a difficult world. When we forget
that fact, we suffer. We get trapped in the shame and
blame of our human minds and neglect “the soft animal
of your body” (as Mary Oliver so beautifully calls it). But
what makes us think we’re so special that we alone—
unlike any other animal on earth—do not deserve
loving care?
Sometimes the only way I can pull myself from the edge
of terror or self-hatred is to ask myself, How does my
animal feel right now? Then I notice my racing heart,
my trembling hands, my shortened breath, my knotted
stomach, my shaky legs, my clenched jaw...and I say,
“This is no way for an animal to live.” I ask my animal
what would make her feel better. A walk in the sunlight?
A friendly voice? A treat? A nap? My animal teaches me
how to take care of her, and she shows me how to care
for myself.
That night I said to the neglected woman, “It’s time
for you to adopt yourself. God gave you stewardship
over one dear and vulnerable animal: yourself. Can you
embrace that responsibility?”
“Maybe...” she said.
I hope she can. I hope the same for all of us—that we
can rescue ourselves from the kill shelter and give
ourselves the loving home we’ve earned just by virtue
of being alive.