the deeper understanding, of its limits. The limits of our 'knowing', of our conditioned thoughts. Are we using our conditioned thoughts as a tool to fix or change our conditioned thoughts into nicer and better conditioned thoughts? It's a bit like trying to bash down a brick wall by hitting our head against it with the intention of being happier and, with our bashed-up head, building a new and better wall – using the same bricks. Doesn't that sound a bit crazy to you? So in frustration we ask ourselves: 'What now? What more can I do?' And we try yet again with another religion, belief system or methodology, we set new outcomes or even go on medication to take away the pain and discomfort of not knowing how – not knowing who we are or what we stand for, not knowing why we are here and what is our true purpose, and not knowing how to make things better. In the Tao de Ching it is said that words only serve to cover up the truth. So, if we only have the tool of the mind, what do we do? In 2010, the frustration I felt from seeing this cycle within myself and others made me leave behind my successful career and coaching business, Quantum Leap Coaching and Training Institute, my dearest daughter, my physical and financial security and all that I held dear, to spend 18 months in a Buddhist monastery as a nun, of which 14 months were spent in a closed, mostly silent, meditation retreat. For 15 hours a day, month after month, I struggled within the cage of the mind and power of the ego that holds us within this cycle. On my return to South Africa, the losing of all I had held true and important, the meaningless of all that had made my life meaningful and the not knowing who I was anymore, was a very painful and scary time for me. I gave up then, knowing I just did not know. But, the truly wonderful thing is this continued cycle is allowing us to move step by step towards understanding and experiencing that, no matter how positive our intentions, motivations and purpose are, and no matter how much commitment we put into our lives for ourselves or others, the cycle of our habitual patterns will most likely just continue. One day we cannot do it anymore and we stop. We just give up. We come to the profound realisation that we know we just don't know how anymore.
Coaching has its place in our lives. An important place. Yet the discovery of this powerful tool of the mind, is the very reason that coaching in its present most utilised structure, as well as many other mind, body, spirit techniques, is helpful, for a while. It finally leads us to the deeper understanding, of its limits. The limits of our 'knowing', of our conditioned thoughts.
in the 'not knowing', just as it is. The cage door has opened. It is a sacred place. A scary, uncertain yet sacred place to be. Treasure the not knowing, the fear; love the uncertainty and have compassionate acceptance for where you find yourself now, for if you do, with patience, you will learn to listen to the winds, and come to trust that within this place, deep wisdom and the experience of the ultimate true presence are waiting f ??????????????????????Q????????????????????????9????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????%??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????A?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????]??????????????????????????????????????!??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????9???????????????????????????Q?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Q???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Q????????????????????????????????????????????????????????()=UH?M
I?I=4??Q!??=;?eP?-9=\??5%9)%???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????M???????????????()=eMMg?$??+???$)% %5 ((0