CONTINUED
OCTOBER 2019
itsnever2latebooks.com
golf buddy not wearing
hearing aid, ran out of
batteries while changing
flat tire.
Tee off time arrives, lift
club out of bag, set it
down near golf car, left
sore ankle with stupid
socks really hurts, hobble
towards first tee off spot,
bend over to stick tee
in grass with good right
hand, whack chin with
club, bite into tongue,
have nosebleed, no tissue
or clean towel, stick good
right hand in golf glove,
then push gloved middle
finger up into nose to stop
bleeding. It worked; glove
was gross, flung it into
recycle container marked
waste, no container avail-
able for bloody middle
finger golf glove.
Golf buddy tees off first,
whacks ball into nearby
tree on walkway, ball
comes back like a curved
boomerang missile and
does harm to the place
where my buddies’ sun
don’t shine. It left him
crotchety. No more
golfing, he rested in my
golf car, drank unpleas-
ant warm beer to take the
edge off his discomfort.
THE GOLF CART CHRONICLES
I drive ball from the tee, down the
fairway, ball lands in a sand trap,
limp with difficulty to reach sand
trap, buddy preoccupied in golf
cart, no ball in site, look closer, step
down into a deep mass of loose wet
sand, sucks me down like quicksand,
buddy sees me sinking down fast, at
warp speed drives golf car to edge
of hole, draws his Big Brutus wide
wood head driver towards my good
right hand, I grab it firmly, buddy
pulls me out and saves me from
suffocating in a golf course fake sand
trap. Should have known better
when no rake in sight.
Just then, the mother of all thunder-
storms with lightning, hail the size
of golf balls, and driving rain bar-
reled down at high speed bringing
our bad golf day to an end.
Bad days do happen, bad luck, bad
news, bad sand trap, bad apples, bad
clubs, bad checks, bad hair days,
bad drivers, bad store clerks, bad
golf balls, bad greens, bad tempered
people, bad beer, and bad breath.
The moral of this story is:
If you are having a bad golf day,
hold your hand over your heart; feel
that? That beating? You’re alive to
golf another day, think positive
BAD GOLF DAY GO AWAY, I’M
READY TO GOLF ANOTHER DAY!
It has been so much fun
playing with words to
bring about amusing
and entertaining stories
portraying people and
other living things as out
of the ordinary.
So, I wrote, and wrote,
and wrote for over sixty-
five years. Each article
was stored away in a box
never to see the light of
day until now.
AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
Golf Cart Chronicles 1
&
Golf Cart Chronicles 2
golf carT chronicles
By Suzy
2
James
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The Go les 2
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Chro
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The Go les 2
Chronic
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mpilatio stories
rous co
A humo g related short
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golf car
tion of
A humorous compila
golf car/golf ing related
short stories
Suzy James
[email protected]
itsnever2latebook
books.com
www.itsnever2late
By Suzy James
OCTOBER 2019
37