The Golf Cart
CHRONICLES
BY: SUZY JAMES - WWW.ITSNEVER2LATEBOOKS.COM
This Is A Story taken from The Golf Cart Chronicles - A Compilation Of Funny Golf Cart/Golfing Related Short Stories
HELP! TWO BIG TURKEYS
Just Drove Off In My Golf Cart.
SUZY JAMES, Author
T
here I was a mid-
dle-aged man named
Raymond, in the garage
getting ready to head out
to the nearby course for a
round of golf. With a few
minutes to spare I loaded
my four-wheel golf car
(parked in the driveway)
with golfing parapherna-
lia and some snacks. Our
rural home was across
the street from George
(my golfing buddy) and
his wife Jessica (my sis-
ter) and their four kids.
Both of our homes were
alike in so much as the
same builder used yellow
brick facing to save on
material costs. We are
partners in a large ac-
counting firm and golfing
is our favorite pastime
when not busy expanding
the business. Anyway,
enough chatting, let’s get
back to me waiting for
40
George to cross the street and get
going to the golf course.
I heard some screaming and yell-
ing; looked out from inside my ga-
rage and saw George racing across
the street towards my house. He
was highly excited and seemed
confused and impossible to under-
stand. I asked if he was okay and
tried to make sense of whatever it
was that got him so riled up. He
wanted to know where the two
big oversized turkeys came from.
I figured he was talking about the
two heavy-set 30-pound turkeys
thawing in our refrigerator and
wondered why this would cause
him to fret so needlessly. He knew
where they came from.
You see George a worrywart, and
Jessica went shopping with me
and my wife Florence to buy two
premium frozen turkeys large
enough to feed all of us and the
six kids at our joint Thanksgiving
dinner on the 28th, two days from
today. The idea was for both of our
families to have enough saved tur-
WWW.GOLFCAROPTIONS.COM
key to make into a few new dishes
or mouth-watering turkey sand-
wiches from the leftovers.
So, I tell paranoid George not to
worry because both of our turkeys
are safe and sound. To put his
mind at ease, we leave the garage
through the back door and head
for the kitchen. Lo and behold
there they were in the fridge; two
big fat, dead, and partially thawed
turkeys waiting patiently to be
stuffed and roasted for all of us
to devour on Thanksgiving Day,
2019. Right then George let me
know with forced certainty that
those turkeys were not what he
was talking about.
Well, I’ll be damned, come to find
out George was not asking about
our two fat turkeys. He was asking
about the two really big human
size turkeys he spotted hiding be-
hind a bush growing in front of his
fake wishing well. He believed that
something was very suspicious
about two humans dressed as tur-
keys struggling to hide from view.