November 2018 Issue #23 November 2018 Issue #23 | Page 71

1. You get excited by the idea of him
When you haven’t had a boyfriend for a while
(or ever), you begin to romanticize the idea of
a boyfriend. When you do this, you often view
the guys you’re dating with rose-colored lens-
es. You blissfully ignore all the ways the two
of you are incompatible. Eventually, the guy
you’re dating realizes it and breaks up with
you. You’re then left feeling dumbfounded
because you (naively) believed you two were
perfect for one another.
2. You’re unsure of what you want in
the relationship
I’m imagining that scene in The Notebook
where Ryan Gosling yells at Rachel McAd-
ams repeatedly asking, “What do you want?!”
I wish someone shouted this at me this when
I was younger.
Sometimes we claim we want a relationship
but haven’t thought through anything past
that. What do you want out of the relation-
ship? How much can you give? What do you
prioritize in a relationship? When is it too
much? While you don’t have to answer all
these questions before meeting someone.
3. The sex fizzles out and you realize
you’re not compatible
My guncle (gay uncle) once told me that you
have no idea if you actually like a guy if the
sex is great. He says it takes six months to
realize that there’s actually nothing more sub-
stantial to the relationship than boning.
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