left a deep impression on me : “ The biggest communication problem is that we do not listen to understand . We listen to reply .” In order to be better communicators , we should bear in mind that besides verbal communication , nonverbal communication actually accounts for a great portion of communication . It involves facial expressions , tones of voice , movements , gestures , postures , and eye contact . These factors can be more genuine compared to verbal cues because it is hard to hide and control them . Nonverbal cues can be unconscious , so when nonverbal and verbal communication are at odds , it could result in mixed messages .
How to promote verbal communication ? Firstly , we should cultivate an attitude of respecting others . We should listen patiently to others and acknowledge their opinions . Only in this way can , communication can reinforce the intimate relationship you want to build .
Secondly , use “ I ” word more rather than “ you ” word . Instead of saying , “ You make me mad ,” try to use “ I ”: “ I get angry when you ignore me .” See , much better ! That ’ s the magic of using “ I .”
Thirdly , self-monitor . Become aware of how you interpret something , your voice , and your tone of speech . I know it ’ s hard , but once you have tried , you can make progress on better communication .
How to promote nonverbal communication ? Firstly , make yourself clean and tidy . Appearances are very important in contemporary society ; you probably would not expect people to like you as much when your hair is messy .
Last but not least , pay attention the extent to which you use touch and other nonverbal cues . Avoid nonverbal distractions . For example , playing with your hair , shifting your eyes , or frequently checking your phone while talking to someone can distort the verbal cues you display . People are more likely to focus on your nonverbal displays than on what you are saying . Thus , avoid nonverbal distractions and monitor your nonverbal displays while communicating with someone .
To summarize this article , proximity and similarity are crucial to connecting quickly with other people . In the meanwhile , it is important to be aware of both verbal and nonverbal cues while communicating with others . These tips and suggestions could also be applied to maintain or develop old relationships . If currently you are facing a relationship dilemma , try these tips and suggestions to refresh your relationship now .
Yetta is a student at EdUHK studying Communication Psychology .
These tips can also be applied to maintaining healthier relationships with friends and family members . 19
DECEMBER 2017