Newsletter (2017-2018) December 2017 Newsletter | Page 17

Tips to Get Someone to Like You
(and Maintain Better Relationships Overall)
By Yetta Zhuo
Imagine that you meet someone, and you fall in
love with them at the first sight. You might ask
yourself such questions: How do you make him
or her like you? How do you make the one you
are enchanted with take the initiative to ask you
out? Why are we drawn to some people and not
to others? This article presents some tips and
suggestions based on social psychology theories
and interpersonal communication skills.
Proximity
Proximity is the first thing you need to consider.
Have you ever wondered how your best friends
became your best friends? Are they the people
who share the same room with you? Are they
the ones with whom you take the same classes?
Or are they the people you often meet in library
or clubs? You have probably already found that
the physical proximity actually plays an essen-
tial role in forging friendships as well as roman-
tic relationships. Believe it or not, technically,
the more frequently your path crosses with
another person, the more enduring your rela-
tionship will be. A host of studies have demon-
strated the effects of proximity on who become
friends and romantic partners.
are similar to themselves. Psychologists have
observed that individuals who intend to marry
share a wide range of similar characteristics. Al-
though there are some who are convinced that
people with opposite characteristics are attract-
ed to each other because they complement each
other, they ignore the fact that there are some
personality traits that most people would find
unattractive. For example, a hard-working per-
son probably would not be with someone who
is lazy. Hence, the effect of complementarity on
attraction is likely to be more limited than that
of similarity.
However, to some extent, the effect of comple-
mentarity can work if someone’s needs can be
met or satisfied by another. For example, if you
are a dependent person who needs to be taken
care by your partner and you meet someone
who is nurturing, maybe you two are the per-
fect match. To conclude, you can put in effort to
do some research about his or her hobbies, fa-
vorite music, favorite books and so forth. Once
you have learned his or her preferences, you
two may share many similarities and connect
with each other very quickly. In this case, the
odds of developing more intimate relationships
may rise.
In addition, a theory called the “mere expo-
sure effect” seves as convincing evidence that
proves the notion of the proximity. The effect
articulates that the more you are exposed to
something, the more you tend to like it. Overall,
the take-home message is that proximity leads
to friendship because it facilitates the chance
to encounter one another; it literally brings
people together. As you can see, if you want to
develop your relationship with the one you are
enchanted with, you may start from increasing
the chances of encountering that person and
frequently appear in his or her sight.
Similarity
Another important determinant of attraction
is similarity: people tend to like people who
DECEMBER 2017
Verbal & Nonverbal Communication
The above are not enough for a deeper commu-
nication. I remembered reading a quote which
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