left a deep impression on me:“ The biggest communication problem is that we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” In order to be better communicators, we should bear in mind that besides verbal communication, nonverbal communication actually accounts for a great portion of communication. It involves facial expressions, tones of voice, movements, gestures, postures, and eye contact. These factors can be more genuine compared to verbal cues because it is hard to hide and control them. Nonverbal cues can be unconscious, so when nonverbal and verbal communication are at odds, it could result in mixed messages.
How to promote verbal communication? Firstly, we should cultivate an attitude of respecting others. We should listen patiently to others and acknowledge their opinions. Only in this way can, communication can reinforce the intimate relationship you want to build.
Secondly, use“ I” word more rather than“ you” word. Instead of saying,“ You make me mad,” try to use“ I”:“ I get angry when you ignore me.” See, much better! That’ s the magic of using“ I.”
Thirdly, self-monitor. Become aware of how you interpret something, your voice, and your tone of speech. I know it’ s hard, but once you have tried, you can make progress on better communication.
How to promote nonverbal communication? Firstly, make yourself clean and tidy. Appearances are very important in contemporary society; you probably would not expect people to like you as much when your hair is messy.
Last but not least, pay attention the extent to which you use touch and other nonverbal cues. Avoid nonverbal distractions. For example, playing with your hair, shifting your eyes, or frequently checking your phone while talking to someone can distort the verbal cues you display. People are more likely to focus on your nonverbal displays than on what you are saying. Thus, avoid nonverbal distractions and monitor your nonverbal displays while communicating with someone.
To summarize this article, proximity and similarity are crucial to connecting quickly with other people. In the meanwhile, it is important to be aware of both verbal and nonverbal cues while communicating with others. These tips and suggestions could also be applied to maintain or develop old relationships. If currently you are facing a relationship dilemma, try these tips and suggestions to refresh your relationship now.
Yetta is a student at EdUHK studying Communication Psychology.
These tips can also be applied to maintaining healthier relationships with friends and family members. 19
DECEMBER 2017