mum guilt may still strike in another form.
It is a strange conundrum, and one
that modern society has exacerbated. The
modern mother can feel as though she is
expected to have it all and do it all, to lead an
Instagram-perfect life. Becoming a mother
causes you to question every single decision
you make. It is no longer just yourself that
you have to think of, in any given situation.
You have the life and the feelings of your
child to consider in everything you do!
Sarah* says, in regards to her PT session, ‘I
think my mum guilt comes from the debate
of whether I take an hour for me or an hour
for my son.’
THE QUICK READ
• Mum guilt makes many women feel
guilty for taking time for themselves,
and prevents others from looking
after their own health and wellbeing
• Acknowledge that mums often have
to give something else up in order to
train with you, and reassure them of
the physical and mental benefits of
doing so
• Be understanding of a mum client’s
inability to strictly adhere to training
and nutrition programs
• Create programs that are more
realistic for a person whose
responsibilities extend far beyond
her own needs and wants.
How you can help
There are a number of steps you can take
to support clients that are experiencing
feelings of mum guilt.
1 Acknowledge that she has
sacrificed something to be with you.
‘If it was easy to exercise,’ says single mum
Eleanor*, ‘I’d do it. I love it. But being a mum
takes priority’. And it’s not even just the fact
of spending time away from her children.
It’s that she feels wholly and completely
responsible for their emotional wellbeing at
all times.
2 Check in with her.
When your client comes to you after
a sleepless night with her little one,
understand that she physically will not be up
for an intense program. That the sleepless
night has likely involved carrying a child
around the house, or sitting in an awkward
position on the nursery floor, or ‘sleeping’
on the futon in the spare room. That she still
chose to spend her time with you, because
she’d feel guilty if she didn’t.
like climbing Mt. Everest. She will feel bad
for deviating from her nutritionally balanced
meal plan, but when her toddler has had a
Stage Five meltdown for the fifth time that
hour, eating the crusts of toast is probably all
she can handle. And she’ll be disappointed
with herself for doing that.
5 Understand that she is likely to
be the one with the family calendar in
her head.
That she is PA to four or five other people.
That asking her to change her whole routine
to suit your complicated training program
is not going to suit. Know that she will feel
guilty about this – she was the one who
came to you for help, after all.
The truth is, we can’t have it all and be it
all. If we are killing it in our gym programs,
it’s likely something has gone by the wayside
at home. If we are at our child’s assembly
presentation, we’ve cut short or completely
missed a workout. If we’re preparing
perfectly weighed and calorie-controlled
meals for ourselves, our kids are eating plain
pasta again just to keep the peace (or, we’re
hiding the measuring and weighing from our
ten-year-old daughters, because we don’t
want them growing up with the same issues
we have).
If you really want to help your mums, see
them, hear them and work with them – from
session to session – without any pressure
or expectation. She’ll do enough of that for
herself!
*names have been changed
Theresa Prior
Theresa is a personal
trainer with a specialised
qualification in post-natal
assessment and functional
exercise prescription. She is
also a qualified outdoor education teacher. Theresa
is passionate about helping mums rebuild their
strength, function and confidence.
3 Understand that her attention
will not be 100% with you.
That you need to be vigilant in your duty of
care to her form. Because she won’t be. And
she knows this, and it upsets her. MORE?
4 Understand that her compliance
to healthy eating won’t be 100%. Theresa recently featured in the ABC
Radio podcast ‘Babytalk’ with Penny
Johnstone. Click here to listen to her
share more insights on training mums.
Because there will be days when she is
operating on four hours of broken sleep,
and preparing a complicated meal will feel
NETWORK SPRING 2019 | 19