Network Magazine (NZ) SPRING-2019 NZ-Final | Page 18

CEC ARTICLE 1 OF 5 ARTICLES UNDERSTANDING MUM GUILT IN YOUR CLIENTS By understanding that your ‘mum clients’ can’t give you 100% – and that this is totally fine – you’ll be better placed to help them increase their strength, function and confidence writes personal trainer Theresa Prior. I The guilt game ‘Mum guilt plays a nasty game’ says mum of four Belinda*; ‘She whispers in your ear that you should spend more time working and that you’re selfish for taking time out to exercise. You listen to her. She then whispers the exact opposite to you. That you’re working too much, are unfit and need to prioritise exercise in order to be a better mother.’ Firstly, are her kids with her for the session? If they are, great. But don’t 18 | NETWORK SPRING 2019 underestimate the tug of war her attention is undergoing as she attempts to listen to and understand your instructions and conversation, alongside trying to listen out for any discourse from her children that may indicate that tyranny is about to break forth. Understand that she will be feeling guilty for being unable to give any of you all of her attention. And if they’re not with her? Where are they? What strategies has she had to implement, who has she had to rely upon, just to get these 30 minutes to herself? Has she had to leave a sick child with the f you are training a mum, chances are she’s had to sacrifice something in her life to spend the 30-45 minutes with you. And extend that to at least an hour if she’s had to travel to you. She will be feeling guilty about this sacrifice, despite knowing that it is for the best. Urban Dictionary defines ‘mum guilt’ as being: ‘Guilt  a mother  feels  any time  she takes time to do something for herself, outside of work, that does not involve her children’ and provides this apt context for its usage: “After barely seeing my children all week due to work, I had horrible ‘mom guilt’ when  dropping  them off at the  sitter  so I could go to the gym.” Understanding that your mum clients are experiencing this – really understanding it – will enable you to work with your client to help her get the results that she is coming to you for. grandparents? Or is she missing her child receiving a school award at assembly to be with you? Understand that the welfare of her children will be at the forefront of her mind for the time she is with you, and that she will be feeling guilty about leaving them with someone else – even if it is someone who loves her kids just as she does. Mum of three Kate* says, ‘My kids are resilient and are fine with me leaving them to go and exercise. In fact, they expect it and are used to it. But while they’re little I need to rely on other people to help me out and I hate that!’ So, even when her kids are fine with it,