TRUST THE PROCESS
freezing parking lot as they loaded up their trunk with framed pictures from their desk saying,“ I thought I’ d be here forever” and“ What am I going to do now?” and“ I’ ll never find another job.”
Those scenes left me heartbroken. I lost a lot of sleep over them.
Sometimes I’ d bump into the former employees years later. And what did they tell me?“ Getting fired was the best thing that happened to me! If I hadn’ t gotten that severance package, I never would have had those crucial six months to spend with my dad before he died.”
Or:“ I traveled to Peru and became a nutritional supplement importer, and I love what I’ m doing now!”
Or:“ I’ m working at a smaller company now, and I’ ve gotten promoted twice in two years!”
Or:“ I used my severance pay to take the time to be with my daughter and son-in-law in the months after her third miscarriage.”
Why did every fired employee tell me this? Why did they all react so positively after some time had passed? How can that happen?
Because we confuse the challenge of picturing change with the improbability of change itself.
We do.
We confuse the challenge of picturing change(“ What am I going to do now?”) with the improbability of change(“ I’ ll never find anything!”).
In other words, you can’ t picture yourself changing so you assume that you won’ t.
Why?
Because your seeing skills are awful! And so are mine. So are everyone’ s. You think because you can’ t see up the staircase that there aren’ t any more steps. But there are more steps.
And change will come.
It always does.
That’ s why it’ s so hard to see change as a step. To see this failure, this flop, this difficult life experience as part of a process, as part of a greater whole. It’ s hard to see it as a step because you can’ t see the next step. And you sure can’ t see 10 steps after that.
Why do we always think failure leads somewhere bad? It’ s not true. It rarely is. Remember the end-of-history illusion? Our brains think this is the end.
Remember all those people I met after they were fired saying how positive that left turn ended up being? It’ s me, too.
How could I have known that failing at P & G would somehow lead me to having the conversation with you that we’ re having right now? I couldn’ t have. Believe me, I far prefer having this conversation to doing price analysis on eye shadows and mascaras. But when I flamed out at P & G, I pictured myself sleeping in a pile of club sandwich crusts in Cleveland.
So be kind to yourself.
When you’ re there, when you’ re stewing in the shock of failure and loss, when you’ re convinced you’ re stuck, when you’ re convinced there’ s no way forward, just remember: there’ s a staircase you’ re not seeing. Trust that it’ s there, right in front of you, and that it leads to exciting new places. Have the courage to believe in this one thing that you can’ t see.
There are so many steps ahead. So many steps. Don’ t stop. Shift the spotlight and keep moving.
It’ s very possible and very likely that what you’ re going through is a step toward a future you’ ll be happy with. But you just can’ t see it … yet. +
Neil Pasricha Author & Entrepreneur
Neil Pasricha thinks, writes, and speaks about intentional living.
All his current work focuses under themes of gratitude, happiness, failure, resilience, connection, and trust.
Neil is the author of 10 books and journals including: The Book of Awesome, a spinning rolodex of simple pleasures based on his 100-million-hit, award-winning blog 1000 Awesome Things, The Happiness Equation, Awesome Is Everywhere, Two-Minute Mornings, and You Are Awesome. Neil’ s books are New York Times and # 1 international bestsellers, have spent over 200 weeks on bestseller lists, and have sold over 2,000,000 copies across dozens of languages.
Neil also gives over 50 speeches a year at places like Harvard, SXSW, and Shopify. His first TED talk“ The 3 A’ s of Awesome” is ranked one of the 10 Most Inspiring of all time.
Neil hosts an Apple“ Best of” awardwinning podcast called 3 Books where he is on an‘ epic 15-year-long quest to uncover the 1000 most formative books in the world.’
Neil shares his current writing on this blog and in a series of newsletters read by over 100,000 people.
Neil’ s pro bono work focuses on youth literacy and mental health.
Neil has degrees from Queen’ s University and Harvard Business School.
Neil lives in Toronto with his family. neil. blog and 3books. co
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