Natural Muscle November 2016 Celebrating 21 Years This Month! | Page 32

PROFILE

Tiffany Lee Gaston

THE BIRTH OF A BA
I

see images of a confident woman,
proudly promoting her unique brand
of badassery on the cover and
within the pages of many fitness
publications. She is strong, powerful
and seems so confident. This woman
inspires me in many ways, but mostly
because I fought so hard to become her.
Growing up in sunny South Florida, I
was an all-around athlete, participating in
many sports, but excelling in gymnastics,
cross country and track early on. My
genetics predisposed me to have a
muscular build, which was further
enhanced by my sport specific training.
Beginning at a very young age, people
would comment on my body, which began
to make me feel very uncomfortable in my
own skin. Seeking to fit in with other girls
my age, this type of attention was the last
thing I wanted.
At 12, I began withholding food little by
little in an effort to starve the muscle off my
frame. I didn’t even realize this condition
was an illness and had a name. It didn’t
much help that I looked up to the rail thin
high fashion models, a body type I would
never have. Eventually, I could no longer
hide my dramatic weight loss and my
parents became very concerned. Upon
seeking treatment, I was diagnosed with
anorexia and even at my lowest point, I
was still not small enough when I looked in
the mirror. This evil lived inside my mind
for a very long time, but it was all a game
of control to me. I was winning, except that
had I kept on that path, I may have lost far
more than just the weight.

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At my lowest, I weighed just 85
pounds, down from 105, and could no
longer hide it from others. I was weak,
gaunt and unable to compete in the sports
I loved, simply because I hated what they
were doing to my body. They had made
me muscular and strong and I should have
embraced that, but sadly that was a bad
thing in my young, delusional mind.
Fighting to overcome an illness that
once controlled my cognitive thinking was
one of the most difficult challenges I’ve
ever faced. My distorted vision of what I
should be, versus the embrace of what I
am, clouded my mind and tormented me
daily until there was no hiding behind it.
Obsessing over the scale every day, the
numbers game took its toll on my mind and
ultimately my frail body.
Treatment was perhaps the toughest
part, not only because I had to surrender
control, but also because I was admitting
to a problem and feared the judgement of
others. Allowing myself to gain the weight
back I so diligently worked to lose, was
the one of the most difficult parts. It took
a very long time to correct this mentality,
but fitness became my emotional outlet
and savior. I learned to see the beauty of
women in fitness, a far more attainable goal
for me, and indulged in as much as I could
about fueling my body healthily and treating
it right.
The inundation of images on
social media can torment us daily
if we allow. Many of these images we
compare ourselves to are not even real.
Seeking validation from anywhere but
within ourselves can have devastating

Natural Muscle Magazine

November 2016

“

Celebrating 21 Years!

The belief in ourselves will carry us farther than anything
else in this lifetime. Knowing we are valuable is sometimes
the hardest lesson we will ever learn.”