the best candidate for being anyone ’ s mother ? Then the Creator hit me with whammy number two : I would have a boy child . Seriously ? How could I raise a son , on my own , especially when there were so many issues in my life surrounding men ? What could I impart to this little being , when there was so much unhealed in my soul ? Well , that answer would come in the form of Jeremy LeMarc Woodson .
Truthfully , he almost didn ’ t make it here . My psychological health was ruling my physical health to the point that I was violently ill during that first few weeks . I couldn ’ t keep water or food down ; lost nearly thirty-five pounds , all of my hair and could do nothing more than lay down for long periods of time . I didn ’ t want to be pregnant , and my body was trying to accommodate that fact . Finally , the doctor said , “ Ms . Woodson ” ( that ’ s my gov ’ ment name ) we ’ re going to have to take the baby . The night , before I was supposed to check into the hospital , I had a dream that I consider profound .
In the dream , I was an Asian woman , a courtesan or lesser wife to an Emperor . I had four daughters and one son . When I gave birth to the son , they took him , and evicted me and my four daughters from the palace . Every day , for an entire year , I cried at the gates of the palace , begging for the return of my son . Every single day , with my daughters surrounding me , crying with me . After a year , they brought him out and placed him in my arms . Me and my daughters were the happiest we could have been as we went on our way and entered into a dark tunnel . Somehow the daughters disappeared in that tunnel and it was just me and my son . As I walked further in , there were people coming towards me that I recognized from this lifetime — all members of my current church at the time . Bessie Sims , Dorothy Greene , Aridell Slaughter . Each one had a special gift for me , to help me with my son .
That morning when I was supposed to check into the hospital for the procedure , I decided I wanted my child . I kept down a meal for the first time in nearly two months . Salisbury steak , buttery mashed potatoes , mixed vegetables , orange juice . Didn ’ t bother me at all . And didn ’ t make an unwanted return appearance .
On the whole , handling the basics : breastfeeding , diapers , shelter , and all that would be easy . What I worried about was the emotional aspects of his upbringing . Was I mentally and spiritually equipped to navigate him safely through to maturity ? Especially since his father — a Latino male who was eight years older than my seventeen years — had decided that being a father was not part of his plans . I should ’ ve guessed something was a little off about him when he asked me out on a date while my head was half-covered in hair relaxer . But I digress .
My son arrived and he was absolutely beautiful . Politically incorrect translation : he looked like he ’ d been