Social Isolation
I still feel like this at times . I have even said to my friends who have children it ' s not that I don ' t want to go to kids parties or gatherings with lots of kids , but over the years , I have watched children all play together , and Jimmy is always left out . He can ' t run / walk / play like the other children , so he has to sit with me the whole time . Though it doesn ' t bother him , I was once a child and I had those feelings of being left out , and I know he can hear them all playing and laughing together . This isn ' t anyones fault ; it just makes me feel sad sometimes . I see their kids growing up doing the things that Jimmy never did or might never do .
Being mum , I think in itself you feel isolated from your friends at times . They are all out having fun , and there are times when you just can ' t be out with them . Being 17 and a mum was hard ; I really didn ' t have other mums who were on the same level as me . So I didn ' t have people I could talk to about anything , and if I did , I would cry and have those friends say , " you always cry ". I have been around women who talk about their children going to high school , then getting their licenses , jobs and then leaving home . I never know what to say ; I just sit there because that won ' t happen to me . It ' s awkward for me when they do this . However , I would never take that away from them by saying how different my life is . So I just don ' t say much at all .
Sometimes I see blogs for parents who have " normal " children , and I see their struggles as we all have them , and sometimes it gets a bit much because some of those things that are being complained about I have never had to experience and never will . But I have noticed in recent times these feelings and thoughts have slowly disappeared , and I am not being triggered because I am working through my traumas which is helping me understand why these blogs / comments / would make me upset . It has taken me a long time to get where I am today without feeling left out or secluded because I have a son with a disability and I have had a lot of different friend circles . I think once you find your tribe , you no longer will feel that way because they will love you unconditionally and make you always feel welcome . This doesn ' t happen overnight , but I promise you this if you can sit with yourself and understand that everything you feel is valid and the way people treat you has nothing to do with you or your family , and everything to do with the way they feel you will come to find that you will be much happier with life and everyone around you .
Fun things we enjoy doing together
Most mornings , we both are up early during the warmer months , and we head down the beach , I piggyback Jimmy , and he copies the birds chirping , he knows where we are once we get to the sand , and while I go for a sunrise swim , Jimmy sits on the beach . He is always so happy listening to the sound of the ocean . We also love going for bike rides where he sits in his trailer and listens to all the sounds around him , giggling away as we ride around . He also has his own three-wheeled bike that I push and steer for him , while his little legs go around like a " normal " bike , but I am doing all the work . My favourite part is when we ride past people , and he is laughing , and others notice , look up at me , then back at Jimmy , and the smiles on their faces bring me so much joy . Jimmy also loves showers , and swimming much like me and loves anything to do with water . But with the ocean , he can be a bit unsure as it is unpredictable , and unless it ' s calm , he can be quite nervous if I take him in the waves . He goes surfing for the disabled a couple of times a year , he takes a few times to get used to it , but once he knows he is safe , he will sign " more " to have another go with lots of " yays " and giggles . I used to piggyback Jimmy up a lot of mountains which he would really enjoy as well , but now he
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