My Life Is Too Dark To See the Light | Page 32

mine, so I should have confidence. We shouldn’t compare our shortcomings with their advantages. That’s how I see it. Even if you’re a real woman and you look down on me, you’re still not as pretty or confident. That’s how I deal with it. I don’t need to scold them.”95 Transgender people may experience discrimination at school or at work. In the education system, bias and lack of gender education means transgender students can suffer from discrimination at school, impacting their “Transgender people may ability to concentrate on their studies, as well as experience discrimination having a profound psychological impact. Many at school or at work. In the transgender students end up dropping out of education system, bias and school and not completing their studies. Xiaomei lack of gender education comes from Shanghai and currently holds a means transgender students secondary school diploma. She told us: “If back can suffer from discrimination then I knew what was going on with me, and if I at school, impacting their hadn’t been surrounded by criticism and ridicule, ability to concentrate on their I wouldn’t have left school so soon, and I would studies, as well as having be better educated. Now my pay is limited by my a profound psychological education.”96 impact.” Weila had a similar experience in school, which also extended into the workplace. Coming to Shanghai from Hubei, she has been forced to change her job many times: “No matter what work I do, they never accept me wearing this [women’s clothing]. Back then I didn’t really know how to dress, and it probably looked weird to people. It was too inhibiting. I’ve changed jobs six or seven times, and finally found work as a cleaner at a gay club.”97 She eventually moved into the sex industry. In a society that distinguishes clearly between male and female, the lack of a clearcut gender puts great limitations on a person’s social space. Among the 70 people we interviewed, only two had undergone sex reassignment surgery, but 30 had breast 95 Interview with Xue’er, July 19, 2014, Shanghai 96 Interview with Xiaomei, June 4, 2014, Shanghai. 97 Interview with Weila, August 15, 2014, Shanghai. 26