MGM
MyG. I. R. L. Z MAGAZINE
Inse-CURE By Phenecia Benson
A SISTER SPEAKS
I never understood what retail therapy meant until I ended up filing bankruptcy several years ago. I realize now looking back that I shopped to compensate... to compensate for whatever pain I was feeling at the time. When I didn ' t feel good enough I bought things, lots of things, in hopes that if people didn ' t like me they ' d at least like what I had. I allowed clothes and material possessions to take my place, as I shrank back into the shadows feeling insecure. Unfortunately, women are subjected to these feelings of low self worth and insecurity all too often. We ' re constantly being told what we should look like. If your hair is short, grow it out and if it ' s long cut it. If you ' re a natural gal you ' re too much of a plain Jane and you ' re obviously in desperate need of the right foundation, mascara, cheek stain and fab lip gloss. If you wear makeup, you wear too much, so just go for a tinted moisturizer and some gloss. If you ' re thin you need butt injections. If you have a huge butt, you ' re borderline fat. When does it end?! Sad to say, but it doesn ' t, unless you resolve within yourself to love you and do the best you that you can do!
STEP 1: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others-Go on an all out beauty reference detox. Toss out your magazines, stop going on your social networking sites, especially the ones that are centered around beauty / women ' s looks, stop watching music videos, reality tv, etc. Reason being, a lot of times all of these outlets present unrealistic, often unattainable images of beauty that will keep you discouraged by forcing you to compare yourself to them, all the while reminding you that you ' ll never be them.
STEP 2: Stay Out Of The Mirror-Granted we all have to look in a mirror at some point throughout the day, but there ' s a fine line between checking and obsessing. I have a little mirror at my desk at work that I would literally look in more than 20 times a day. Is a hair outta place? Is my makeup smeared? Is something in my nose? Is something on my face? After so long it was just a grueling process of me looking for something wrong. So now I pull it out when I need it and only when I need it. It prevents you from worrying that something ' s wrong and needs fixing and instead teaches you to trust that you naturally look good. Everything is ok!
STEP 3: Garner Compliments-It ' s a total confidence booster. It may seem like a contradiction my telling you to garner compliments, yet don ' t worry what others think of you, but the truth is to some degree we all seek external praise. It ' s a part of our innate human desire for communion. We all need acceptance from others to some degree, just not to the degree that their opinion of you matters more than your own. People love things that come to life. Wear a hairstyle you ' ve never worn before. Snag a really fly top that says“ Hey, I know you love what I ' m wearing!” Don some really cute accessories. You ' d be surprised how a simple, but unique pair of earrings can become a water cooler convo starter. Become good at something. Achievement builds confidence. The more you become known as the person that ' s good at this or that, the better you ' ll feel about yourself and that energy will become a perpetual cycle.
STEP: 4 Be Honest About Your Flaws-This part might just be the hardest. We would all like to wish our flaws away or at best just pretend they don ' t exist in the hopes that others won ' t notice them either, but this is the least