COUNSELOR'S
CORNER
Psychologist - Counselor, Elementary
Karina Bustamante
by Melanie R. Miller, M.Ed., School Counselor, Parent Educator, Certified Positive Discipline Associate
Before children can learn their "three R's", they need the vital proteccions provided by the "four C's", Connection, Capability, Counting and Courage. (Kottman, 1999)
A child who can connect with others (connection), can take care of oneself (capable), feel valued by others (counting), and have courage, have a greater opportunity to grow up responsible, productive, cooperative, self-reliant, resilient, resourceful, contributing, and happy. (Kottman 1999) And you guessed it, do better academically!
For the purpose of this article, I would like to focus on the "capable" portion of the "four C's". Think of the child who, in the morning, gets himself dressed, participates in the preparation of breakfast, is included in problem solving the issue of how to get ready and out the door by 8:05am, is encouraged to take a risk, is allowed to make mistakes. Now think about the child, who is told what to wear to school, (mom actually dresses this child!); is not allowed to help with breakfast because it takes too much time or is too messy; is constantly reminded about what he has to do to get ready for school; isn't allowed to walk to school with friends because mom or dad don't trust him to get there on time.
Which child feels more capable? Which child is going to walk into their classroom with confidence and a feeling that they can contribute and be an important part of their classroom and their learning?
Now that school year just began we recommend the following article about how parents are responsible about their children success in school. In this article based on the work of Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen parents will learn about the importance of making their children feel capable. Sometimes parents in the name of love protect or rescue their kids from situations they need to experience denying them the opportunity to feel capable. The most lovable and caring parent could do this kind of mistakes because of lack of information. For that reason one of our primary goals is to educate parents to make them better in the wonderful journey of parenting.
Hope you enjoy this article!
Success at School Begins at Home