MWG Writes on Q
June 2015
A Thing of Bits & Pieces
observed. But, this is the way people speak, like it or not, and your job as a fiction writer is to make
your dialogue natural.
In the previous piece I wrote I quoted Elmore Leonard. What he said is worth remembering. “If
proper usage gets in the way, it may have to go. I can’t allow what we learned in English composition to
disrupt the sound and rhythm of the narrative.”
Another very common mistake is using ‘on-the-nose’ dialogue. This may need explanation as it’s a
term generally used with screenplays. But basically it means stop treating your reader as an idiot
who needs telling everything. Your readers are smart: they’ll get it without being hit over the head.
Another screenwriting term is subtext, but it also important in fiction. As you probably know, it
means leaving something to the imagination, leaving sentences or thoughts dangling, having your
character give someone a look that expresses their emotion without explaining it. A good old
fashioned scowl or a raised fist doesn’t need much explanation; it tells its own story.
It’s been said that 90% of all human communication is non-verbal, so make sure you’re
understood without going “over the top”, “in your face” or “on the nose” - all of which basically
mean giving too much information – unless there’s a really good reason for it; and only you as the
writer will know that. This applies even more to screenplays.
And please, lose the Thesaurus. None of those weird “he expostulated” (protested), “he avowed”
(said), “she averred” (said), “she responded” (replied). Keep it simple. All those rubbishy things
mark you down as a beginner, unless you really need to make a point like, “he shouted,” or “she
screamed,” he said/she said are generally all you need. Set the tone by what the character does.
An example might be:
“What the hell do you mean?” he screamed at me.
(OK, but I think this is better)
The man was furious. His eyes narrowed and his mouth hardened to a thin line. “What the hell do you
mean?”
It’s obvious in both cases that the man is angry, but the second one tells us a lot more about the
man.