Running When You ’ re Old ( and Big )
The Running Pastor after another successful race
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Tackling the Festival of
ROAD RUNNING children trailing behind me , while my dignity was left somewhere in Paul Street .
Bitten by the Bug
Wisely , Cindy realised I needed some help , and at last , she said she would join me . There was one condition , though : We would be walking , because she “ doesn ’ t do running .” So be it , I said , we shall walk at a brisk pace then . Unfortunately , although less of a disaster , this arrangement didn ’ t work at all : I needed to run , and my heart needed to be pumping , because that inborn threat of ‘ early retirement ’ due to sudden death had to be addressed . Thus , no more walking with my wife .
ROAD RUNNING
Guillaume Smit taking on the West Coast Marathon
Running When You ’ re Old
( and Big )
ISSUE 164 | www . modernathlete . co . za
I may not be the same shape and size as many of the other runners in the races that I enter , but I ’ m still there , putting one foot in front of the other … and in spite of sometimes forgetting my age , and picking up a few injures along the way , I ’ m still enjoying my running !
– BY GUILLAUME SMIT
Running 50km
W
hen I report at the starting line of a race these days , it feels as if I ’ m the only guy present with the size of a teenage hippo . I mean , I am humungous . I do not run , or walk … I waddle . At the start of a 10km , my friends ask if I have entered for the 5km . I always answer “ no ”, indignantly , since I ’ m doing the 10 , just to see how they roll their eyes in a way that communicates , “ we ’ ll see you in hospital , then .” My wife , even though she disagrees with the self-evaluation of my tremendously vast visible appearance , will tell me to take it easy in the races … and that I should start acting my age .
To be honest , my friends and family are partly correct . I did , ironically , do a 5km fun run a few months before the telling of this story , only to tear a ligament in my left knee . I had to hobble past Christmas and through New Year ’ s , waiting for a surgeon to return from holiday so he or she could do the operation . Then I was on crutches , only to report for a second operation two months later – this time to that part of the body that usually affects old men . In the end , I couldn ’ t run for almost six months .
The problem , though , is that I cannot use these ailments as a valid excuse any longer . I am normally big , built to elephantine proportions . I look at food and my stomach expands , just like a natural chubster . I even seem to crave a midnight snack every evening after 10pm . And when I get anxious , I eat . So , when I ended up on crutches and recovering in bed with a sensitive bladder , I wallowed through my self-pity with all sorts of snacks and what not . Of course , my wife thought it ’ s more a matter of discipline , perseverance and self-control , but my inner whale was swimming somewhere in the Antarctic , where he couldn ’ t hear anything she said !
Back in the Day …
Images : Awie Badenhorst , Mogamat Shahmieg Allie , Thomas Sports Photography , Moegsien Ebrahim , Oloff Crous , Guillaume Smit
When I started out as a runner , things were simpler . I trained for a race , I ran , I lost weight . The more I ran , the faster I got . I almost broke through the 60-minute barrier for a 10km once . That was awesome . But
Running When You ’ re Old ( and Big )
When I report at the starting line of a race these days , it feels as if I ’ m the only guy present with the size of a teenage hippo . I mean , I am humungous . I do not run , or walk … I waddle . Still , even though I may not be the same shape and size as many of the other runners in the races , I ’ m still there , putting one foot in front of the other … and in spite of sometimes forgetting my age , and picking up a few injures along the way , I ’ m still enjoying my running !
Click here to read the rest of this humorous article by Guillaume Smit , published in our January 2024 edition .
Fortunately , my good friend , Oom Oosie ( one of Mpumalanga ’ s Comrades-running legends ) gave me a belt to tie around my waist and attach the dogs ’ leashes to . Now my hands were free , and eventually the dogs grew more disciplined , and we ran along a new route with fewer hysterical pooches along the way . In the meantime , Cindy took a liking to this walking thing , and continued doing it with her friends . Apparently , it was therapeutic for three ladies to use this time to get away from husbands and children .
Within weeks they started planning their first 10km race-walk , and then , having done that first 10 , they planned , trained for , and completed a 15km race , with 15 minutes left before cut-off . They were getting good at this . Ha , I thought , gotcha ! “ So , if you can do fifteen kilometres , you will be able to do a 21 ,” I said to the three of them after that race , “ but I bet you aren ’ t up to a challenge like this .” I correctly banked on the fact that they wouldn ’ t be able to resist a direct challenge , and they duly entered the Winelands Half Marathon , completing it with
13 minutes to spare .
That evening I took my long-awaited opportunity : While gently massaging Cindy ’ s sore feet , I said , “ Now that you have experienced the joy of a half marathon , you could just as well start doing races with me . I normally walk-andrun , so you are fit enough to keep up with me .” She didn ’ t have an excuse anymore .
Bay is out of this world !” I craftily left out the fact that you only get to this view after reaching the top of the infamous Spookhill climb , which is in league with equally infamous hills such as the Black Mamba and Constantia Nek .
We trained , and I mentally prepared Cindy for what lay ahead . I started ‘ selling ’ the route , beginning with the optical illusion for which the hill is famous , hence its name . Yet again , however , I passingly mentioned the difficulty level of the ascent , while overplaying the beauty of the downhill section . “ Spookhill is going to be special ,” I ventured , “ it ’ s the first race after COVID , so people will be excited to run it again . The vibe will be awesome , and I ’ ll be with you all the way .”
However , two weeks before the race , disaster struck when I started coming down with flu . Initially I ignored it , but after three days the flu became more and more bronchial . It was clear that I should get a prescription for antibiotics from my GP , and as a matter of routine ,
Guillaume and Cindy finishing a race together
she also sent me to have my sinuses probed with that awful stick test thingy , and , that evening , my “ light flu ” officially became “ light COVID .”
The Show Must Go On
As the saying goes , a promise you make is a promise you keep . Thus , two weeks later , I dutifully drove Cindy to Somerset-West for the race , ‘ pleaseexplaining ’ all the way that she could not blame me for my illness … and besides , the hill wasn ’ t really that bad .
Some time later , I joined her for the last few metres to the finish line . We didn ’ t speak a word – she was too tired , I was too out of breath , and the final cut-off was just minutes away . I watched her run to the end , and when I found her again at the queue for the cold drinks , Cindy declared , “ I so hate you . Never again !” Famous last words , indeed . Soon , we were attempting the Two Oceans Half Marathon together .
What ’ s in a Name ?
The opportunity for our first race together came a few months later , as COVID restrictions were lifted , and I chose one of Cape Town ’ s more scenic races , the Spookhill 15km in Somerset-West . “ It ’ s a lovely route ,” I said , “ and the view over False
About the Author
Guillaume Smit became known as the ‘ Running Pastor ’ while working as a minister of religion , but he is now a lecturer of theology at Hugenote College in Wellington . He took up running in 2013 , after what he describes as a sedentary lifestyle for almost two decades , and has been a member of the Brackenfell Athletics Club since then . Now and again , he jots down a few words about his running adventures and shares them with Modern Athlete mag .
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