Live Well
Surviving the Holidays as a Singleton By Paula Quinsee
Holidays should be a time of fun and laughter and family , especially the festive season , but for some people , it ’ s the exact opposite , a time of loneliness , especially if you are a Singleton , so here is a quick guide to help you survive the upcoming holidays .
Many single people dread the festive season , because they know they are going to have to answer a million and one questions from family members and distant relatives as to what their relationship status is . Or why they haven ’ t settled down yet ? Or better yet , what happened to that nice boy / girl you were dating three years ago ? be open to spontaneity . You never know how much fun you might have , or who you could just meet along the way !
The bottom line is that this is an important time for you to do you . Don ’ t be pressurised by friends and family members to attend gatherings if you don ’ t want to . Ask yourself if this is something you really want to do ? Or will it make you feel more lonely and depressed ? As a single person , you have the same right to enjoy the holiday season as any other person , so if you want to redecorate your home , go backpacking or eat ice-cream , do it . How you choose to spend the holidays is your personal choice , not those around you .
Some feel they have to dodge the gauntlet of seeing happy couples everywhere they go – from shopping malls to festive gatherings and even TV adverts portraying happy couples and families spending time together – whilst they face yet another holiday season alone .
Learning to survive the holidays is key for any singleton if they want to come out on the other side physically and emotionally unscathed , so here are a few survival tips to use .
Images : Pexels
1 Plan Ahead
Plan where you are going to spend the holidays , and with whom ( i . e . family or friends ), so that you don ’ t feel like you ’ ve got nowhere to go , or are the proverbial ‘ spare wheel .’
2 Don ’ t Wallow
Don ’ t stay home alone if you are feeling down – that will only make things worse . Get out , take a walk , go do some exercise , meet up with a friend or family member , anything so that you are not home alone . At the same time , be careful not to keep yourself so busy that you end up feeling burnt-out and exhausted at the end of the holidays . Find the balance .
3 Manage Your Expectations
Have fun in the way you see fit . Don ’ t allow anyone to pressure you into unrealistic expectations of what the holidays should be for you . You should be able to celebrate the holidays in a way that makes sense to you , not trying to live up to others ’ expectations . That way there will be less disappointment and frustration .
4 It ’ s a Time of Giving
Traditionally , the festive holidays have been around giving , gratitude and reflection . Take some time to do all of these things for yourself . Reflect on your year and what you have achieved , no matter how small it may seem . Show your gratitude and appreciation for those special people in your life , or volunteer your time and services to help others less fortunate – this way you increase your sense of wellbeing and gratitude .
5 Explore
Use the free time on your hands that the holidays bring to try new things , go new places and meet new people . Approach the holidays with a sense of adventure and
Paula Quinsee is a relationship and life coach , Tedx speaker and author of Embracing Conflict and Embracing No . She is a passionate advocate for healthy relationships and personal transformation , and works with both individuals and companies to better understand relationship patterns , communication and conflict styles , emotional behaviours and traits , and how to have healthier human interactions in both our personal and workplace worlds . More info at www . paulaquinsee . com .
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