THE RUNNING MANN
More Mielie Mayhem
There were sporadic marshals spaced out along the
route. They were very friendly, but their role seemed
largely redundant, since there were no side roads
to speak of. Perhaps their job was to ensure no one
veered off into a cornfield and got lost… although the
crops did provide good cover if you needed to “gooi
some mielies” in privacy.
In the land of big bulls, big
bakkies and bielie mielies!
For those who’ve heard the saying, but wondered
what “to gooi mielies” actually means, it’s an idiom
for “party hard,” or “throw caution to the wind.”
From what I could gather, the origin is that corn
husks would be thrown onto the barnyard floor
(some sources say it was mielie-meal, for extra grip),
indicating it was time to put on the dancing shoes, roll
up the sleeves and bring out the ‘langarm’ skills.
My derivation is a lot more coarse. At the risk of
people thinking I have an unhealthy fixation, after
the race report dealing with “going code brown” at
the Hillcrest Marathon, let’s just say that if you eat
popcorn (which is incredibly high in roughage) just
before going for a run, you are likely to “gooi mielies”
a few kilometres down the road!
cricket commentary on Radio 2000! And speaking
of bragging rights, for Free State farmers, it’s not
enough to just drive the biggest bakkie, they also
have to show off the size of their bullocks. In my
humble opinion, if you’re a farmer in South Africa’s
breadbasket, having a bielie mielie is far more
important than having a bielie bakkie, or erecting a
bielie big sign boasting about your bullocks, but that’s
just me…
The ‘Gees’ of the Free State
With the small field, it got quite lonely towards the
end of the race, but somehow three of the 75 finishers
– Choaro Losabe, HJ Hattingh and I – still managed
to cross the line together. The Bielie Mielie Marathon
might be a small field event in terms of runners, but it
has big field charm in terms of the crops and farmland
that one passes along the way.
For those that manage to book accommodation in
time, I’d suggest you stick around and experience
some of the local culture at the festival. Apart from
hanging out with your favourite local soap opera
stars, the energetic and competitive can take part in
various ‘Boeresport-kompetisies’ later on Saturday
afternoon. If my translation abilities are correct, these
activities include eiergooi (egg-tossing), mieliepit
eet (competitive corn consumption), sakresies (sack
races), trekkerband trek (tractor tyre pull), baaldra
(tossing bales of hay) and woldra (sheep shearing).
I am sure that as the sun sunk lower, the liedjies
got louder and the mielies were gooied harder, but
I think the only thing missing from the Bielie Mielie
Festival is a cute mascot. And while there are several
talent competitions during the festival, I didn’t spot
a “Grootste Bielie Mielie” competition. That would
definitely increase the vocabulary of many Free State
ladies… and boost the sales of large bakkies!
Potholes and Windmills
Now if I was prone to bad puns, I would say that
you definitely pay your Reitz over this taxing course.
(Which raises a few good questions about what
happens to tax revenue in the land of missing milk
and disappearing money, but that’s for another day.)
Apart from the hills, the biggest challenge over this
course is the risk of twisting an ankle in a pothole!
Meanwhile, in terms of prevalence, windmills come a
close second to potholes on the landscape.
Now, my Afrikaans has never been great, but it always
improves during a Vrystaat marathon. For example,
even though I can’t understand most Afrikaans
jokes, I managed to make up my own Afrikaans
joke during this marathon: The Afrikaans word for
windmill is ‘windpomp,’ so I figured that if you eat
baked beans for supper on Valentines, your evening
is likely to climax with an Afrikaans windmill! On
the other hand, the Afrikaans word for watermill is
‘waterpomp,’ pronounced “wat a pomp.” And when
it’s time for after action satisfaction if, instead of
lighting up with a cigarette, your partner calls you an
Afrikaans watermill,. it means that you did a good job
(regardless of how many baked beans you consumed
beforehand).
Maybe not the best joke ever, but not bad for a
guy who only passed his matric ‘opstel’ exam
by using words he’d picked up from Afrikaans
Three happy Bielie
Marathon finishers
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: The Running Mann has run over 240 marathons and ultras, and his current
mission is to run every marathon in South Africa. He recently fulfilled a lifetime goal of securing a shoe
sponsorship from The Sweatshop Broadacres and Asics South Africa (and a running kit sponsorship from
Runderwear), thus allowing him to run more races and share their stories. You can follow his adventures on
Twitter, Facebook or Instagram, and on his popular blog.
Heading down to the turnaround point
Signing out from the
Bielie Mielie Marathon
Images: Stuart Mann, Pieter Oosthuizen
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ISSUE 132 JULY 2020 / www.modernathlete.co.za