Modern Athlete Magazine Issue 132, July-Aug 2020 July-August 2020 | Page 27

THE RUNNING MANN pork sausages and one rasher of bacon. The burger itself was served on an English muffin instead of the traditional bun and the customary burger garnish of lettuce, tomato and gherkin was replaced by heavy lashings of coleslaw and a few carrot sticks. However, the biggest surprise was that the burger itself was a piece of steak. After phoning to confirm that they had not given me someone else’s order and being reassured that the odd concoction I was looking at was indeed a Mega Burger, I tucked in and enjoyed my Valentine’s dinner immensely! Road to Hell With a 60km drive to the start on what I’d been told was bad road, I got up early, had one cup of tea and planned to eat my pre-race sandwiches on the drive. In the Free State, the condition of the roads are generally shocking, and instead of distance markers, every five kilometres there was a sign saying, “Warning: Potholes next 5km.” It was a harrowing drive in the dark – two hands held tightly on the steering wheel, eyes wide open, teeth gritted and bowels clenched. If you think running in the Free State is boring, you’ve probably never actually run in the Free State. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed every race I’ve done here, and the routes are usually packed with plenty of natural beauty. The Bielie Mielie was no exception, with plenty of sights and scenery. And if you think running in the Free State is flat, you’ve probably also never actually run in the Free State. Although Welkom is a bit of a pancake, my experience has been that everywhere else is crumpets with lots of toppings. This particular route had no flat sections. It was constant undulations the whole way, with a total elevation gain of 620m. Under the sponsorship of VKB Landbou (as well as Total, who inject some fuel into the marathon), the race is very well organised by Limodo Events, which enlists the help of Bethlehem Marathon Club. (This is the same team that brings you the spectacular Surrender Hill Marathon). I usually try to do some research for the race report while running the race itself, and as I approached the Bethlehem Marathon Club table towards the end of the race, I thought I’d better find out what “Bielie” actually means. All the ladies at the table were hard at work handing out water and Coke, and offering rubdowns, and thus I didn’t want to disturb them from the important job they were doing. The Bethlehem men, however, in keeping with tradition, were all just sitting around drinking beer and braaiing. Therefore, I asked these guys what “Bielie Mielie” means. They told me it is a “Big Mielie.” The guy sitting in the chair on the right combined his description with an extensive hand gesture. His friends just told him to “Stop exaggerating,” and that he “Wished he had a Bielie Mielie.” Fortunately, I had honed my driving skills over the Christmas period by playing Super Mario Kart Deluxe with my kids, and I made it to the start in one piece. However, such was the immense concentration required to get there that I only got a chance to eat my first sandwich when I pulled into the parking lot of the Reitz Bowls Club. I also made a mental note to use a bite plate the next time I tackled the Free State roads, to save the enamel on my teeth. Registration was quick (R250 for a late entry) and I had time to help myself to a complimentary cup of coffee, after which my sphincter finally relaxed enough to complete the morning routines, and then I joined the small group of runners waiting at the start. While the drive to get there was stressful, everything else about running in the Free State is totally relaxed. There was a definite, “Don’t rush us, we’re local” vibe at the start. Most races are a total bunfight up front, but, as you can see from the photo taken 60 seconds before the gun fired, everyone is pretty chilled. This was well before Coronavirus, but you are always granted plenty of personal space in the Free State. Scenic but Hilly Although the town of Reitz is small in size, they are big on mielies, and they have one of the largest maize silos in the southern hemisphere. The out-and-back route starts with a short circuit of the town, but it’s not long before you pass the grain silos at the edge of Reitz and head directly into the countryside along a quiet regional road past mielie, sunflower and livestock farms. Perhaps the nastiest sting in the tail is at the turnaround point itself. Post office towers earmark the highest point in a district, and I figured that the tower we were gradually approaching would be the turnaround. No such luck – there was enough time and space for the route to plummet us down a short mineshaft on the other side… which, of course, we had to trudge up again to begin the second half of the marathon. Hearty Support Fortunately, the support tables along the route were exceptional, and all had plenty of food along with the regular cooldrinks, which were ice cold. My personal favourite was the Mecca Hardware table, which had a full-on sound system with an announcer who greeted every runner on the way out as well as on the way back. Exceptional support tables, with Mecca Hardware standing out The Meaning (of Life) As a diligent researcher, I decided I’d better doublecheck that they weren’t pulling my bielie mielie, so I asked race director Desiree Opperman as well as a couple of other ladies after the race what “Bielie” actually means. All the ladies I spoke to told me it was “just a made-up word,” created to rhyme with mielie. I was now really confused and figured that either size really doesn’t matter for Free State ladies, or they’ve never seen a really big mielie in real life! Desiree did in fact get back to me the following day with a message confirming that “bielie” means “Big, huge, enormous.” (I didn’t ask her how she found out, though.) Meanwhile, SuperSport rugby commentator Ockert van Schalkwyk gave me a thorough Afrikaans grammar lesson on the correct usage of “bielie.” He also told me that the opposite of “Bielie” is “Buksie.” Now I know a few runners called Buks, but I don’t know any of them well enough to ask how they earned their nickname. So, in short, if someone says “You’ve got a bielie mielie,” that’s a compliment, but if someone says, “You are a bielie mielie,” that’s an insult. Getting back to the race, I actually think that the organisers missed out on a trick, because if I had a race T-shirt that said, “Ask me about my Bielie Mielie Marathon,” I’d wear it all the time! The town of Reitz is small in size, but big on mielies If I was in charge of race T-shirts, they’d look like this! 27