Miss VIP October, 2013 | Page 25

Where to go? If you are coping with similiar problems, and you want to talk about it. On SPOL you can find teens who are in the same situations as you are. www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org You can also call with the Suicide Prevention Hotline to talk about your problems. 1 (888) 452 1505 up at the hospital, others sent me text messages, but I didn’t want any kind of contact with them. I just wanted to lay there, to be alone and try to understand why I had done it. It’s strange to say this: I knew I made everyone worry and that nobody would have ever expected that from me, but the truth is that the most surprised person was me. As I said, I had never had any suicidal thoughts before and that’s why I got even more angry when someone, with tears in their eyes, told me that I could’ve killed myself! I want this to be clear: to die was not my aim. By using that razor, I didn’t want to stop living. I just wanted to make everything stop, because I was so tired of feeling worthless, wrong, a burden even to myself. “WELCOME” HOME I was definitely not expecting what happened when I got home after staying at the hospital. A friend of mine wrote about what I had done on my personal blog and even though I knew she did it to help me see thatthere were people who cared and supported me, I was angry because I felt ashamed and I wanted nobody to know th ????????$?????????????????????)??????????????????????????????)????????????????????????????????)??????????????????????$???????????)???????????$?????????????e????)????????????????????????????e???????)???????$?????????$?????????????????)???????9??$???????????????????????)????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????)??????????????????????????????)??????????$???????????????????????)??????????????????????????????????$)?????????????????????????????????)=????????????????e?????????????????)?????????'?e???????????????????)??????????????????????????????)??????????????????Q?????????????)??????????$???????????????????????????????????e????????????????????????????????$?????????e????$????????)??????)%???????????????????????$??????????((