Mindset Self-Defense Volume 1, Issue 2 -The Back To School Safety Issue | Page 9

In their most basic form, boundaries are where you end and someone else begins, literally.
Everything inside your skin is you and belongs to you. Everything else is not you, and may or
may not belong to you. For example, the personal space outside your skin belongs to you hence
you get to decide who gets into that personal space and who does not, and what you surround
yourself with. Your living space belongs to you and you get to pick how you want to live as long
as it does not impede on others and vice-a-versa. Our property is ours, and we get to determine
who we allow access to and who we do not.
Physical boundaries are essential for healthy human development. ?ese are some additional
questions to ask yourself in determining your physical boundaries and who can cross them and
why:
• At what space am I comfortable in when I am in the presence of aquaintances, family, the
opposite sex?
• Are those boundaries being crossed? When do I feel uncomfortable? With whom? Is there an
individual, group or situation where I find a pattern of discomfort when I am with them?
• Is my privacy invaded? Is my property respected?
• Are my requests being listened to? Do I find myself asking for the same things over and over?
Am I being ignored?
• Whom do I trust? Do I feel betrayed?
• Is my living environment as I like? Is it hostile? Do I witness boundary crossings? Are there
consequences?
?e answers to these questions might give clues on where physical boundary work may need
adjustment.

YOUR SOUL: Here’s a start. Do you think you have the right to your own boundaries? Does it
make you feel selfish or guilty to take care of yourself in this way? Do you believe you should be
able to defend your boundaries? Are you afraid of hurting other people or letting them down in
the process?
?ere’s a mouthful.