Mindset Self-Defense Volume 1, Issue 2 -The Back To School Safety Issue | Page 10

One of the biggest deterrent in enforcing personal boundaries is the misguided belief that some
possess that says we are not allowed to have personal boundaries or enforce them at the expense
of others. Caring individuals do not like to see others uncomfortable and at times see upholding
personal boundaries as selfish. DO NOT fall into that trap!
Assuming your boundaries are reasonable, you will know you are already in the trap if you are
experiencing guilt at defending your own boundaries. If so, your spiritual boundaries are being
invaded! Why does this happen? One answer is fear. Fear of rejection, abandonment,
confrontation, and guilt. Another answer is trained obligation. At times we are trained to take
care of others at all costs, “make” others happy, “keep” others happy, not to say “no”, or to put the
feelings of others first. Of course, I am not recommending a lack of empathy, however, if we let
other people make decisions for our life, we are not living it. We are not responsible for other
people’s reactions to our boundary setting. In fact, if this is a new endeavor on your part, or you
are re-setting some limits that need tweaking, expect the discomfort of others and expect to be
tested. If setting your won limits means that someone else has to rise to their own potential that
is a positive step for both of you, even if you recognize it first. Stay calm, firm, and respectful. Do
not go backwards on your limit setting and there is no need to apologize for it!
Like all living beings, we do better when not poisoned. Eliminate toxic people and toxic energy
from your life. ?ere life is their responsibility, not yours. Build your fence wisely and with
flexibility. Keep it porous enough for love to flow through it, yet strong enough to protect from
the selfish and manipulative. Seek to find those who respect you and your way of life, and are
willing to be a true friend or lover, who finds joy in personal evolution and the unique gi?s we
all have inside to share!

Follow our "Integrative Defense" Section as we continually explore in more
depth how the mind, body and soul connection integrates into the whole of selfdefense considerations, decisions and applications.

Volume 1, Issue 2
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