Take Your Time
Let’ s say that to really enjoy sex you’ d need to be in a particular mood. You’ d need to feel completely safe and understood by your wife – and this would need to begin long before you even thought about jumping into bed. Oh, and to become sexually aroused you’ d need some warm up time that might begin with several minutes of gentle caressing interspersed with pillow talk. The lights would need to be low, you’ d need to consider what you’ re wearing, and you’ d need some time to brush your teeth and prepare yourself physically.
Hard to imagine, right? But I’ m sure you’ re getting the point. If you want your wife to be more forthcoming with her sexual desires, you’ ve got to do your part in helping her love your love making sessions. A little empathy can go a long way in getting you to slow it down a bit and set the stage for passionate sex that makes her feel great.
Reduce Distractions
One of the biggest reasons that this myth of unequal libidos persists is because men rarely give consideration to what is distracting women from sex. After all, most of the time, it takes a lot to distract us from the effort! That’ s why we need to take special care in doing whatever we can to keep distractions for her to a minimum. You probably already know what they are, but if not, ask your wife to tell you.
If you have children, that’ s inevitably going to top the list. So will any emotional or conversational loose ends between her and you or anyone else. She may be distracted by tomorrow’ s busy schedule, an upcoming dinner party, a doctor’ s appointment, an unpaid bill. You name it. So if you want her libido to be raring to go tonight, first find out what might be getting in its way and do what you can to remove it. But please don’ t do the typical macho move of“ fixing” her problem so you can have sex. That is sure to backfire.
Pay attention to what dampens her sexual desires by listening patiently. Bite your tongue if you’ re about to spout off a quick solution. Make sure she feels understood. That’ s all. You’ ll be amazed at how much your“ doing nothing” can increase her libido.
Touch Her Feelings Before You Touch Her Body
If you want to rev up your wife’ s sexual motor, you’ ll need a heart-‐ felt message to turn on her ignition. She’ s hardwired to become sexually motivated when you romance her, when you whisper those proverbial“ sweet nothings” in her ear. It doesn’ t take much. You don’ t need to compose a poem. You simply need to let her know how much she means to you. Anything endearing will do. You can say things like,“ You mean so much to me,” or“ You’ re the best part of my day.” Of course, you have to be genuine when you say these things. If you’ re just“ making a move,” forget it. She’ ll read right through you. Every woman knows the difference between manipulative come-‐ ons and heart-‐ felt sweet nothings.
Help Around the House