May 2024 May 2024 | Page 20

A20 May 2024 Pamplin Media Group

Gary ’ s Grins

By GARY NEWBORE

Keeping a job is tough

My job search

1 My first job was working in an orange juice factory , but I got canned . I couldn ’ t concentrate .

2 . Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack , but I just couldn ’ t hack it , so they gave me the axe .

3 . After that , I tried a job as a tailor , but just wasn ’ t suited for it because it was a sew-sew job .

4 . Next , I tried working in a Muffler Factory , but that was too exhausting .

5 . Then I tried being a chef . I figured it would add a little spice to my life , but I just didn ’ t have the thyme .

6 . Next , I attempted being a deli worker , but , anyway I sliced it , I couldn ’ t cut the mustard .

7 . My best job was a musician , but eventually I found I wasn ’ t noteworthy .

8 . I studied a long time to be a doctor , but didn ’ t have the patients .

9 . Next was a job in a shoe factory . I tried hard , but just didn ’ t fit in .

10 . Then I became a commercial fisherman , but discovered I couldn ’ t live on my net income .

11 . I then managed to get a good job working for a pool company , but the work was just too draining .

12 . So then I got a job at a fitness center , but after a while they said I wasn ’ t fit for the job .

13 . After many years of trying to find steady work , I finally got a job as a historian , until I realized there was no future in it .

14 . My last job was at Starbucks , but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind .

15 . So then I tried retirement , and found I ’ m perfect for the job !

Men ’ s Club

� From Page A19

a breakfast and a brief State of the Union CMC message from Board President Greg Benesh . New members present were introduced , games were explained , questions were answered and a delicious breakfast was provided by Moira and Crew from the Market Café . A scramble golf event followed the breakfast . Thank you to Moira and the Market Café staff for a warm and delicious breakfast , and to Mr . Harp for the breakfast beverages . I ’ m not sure who takes the blame for the cold , windy , wet weather .

Results : A consequence , effect or outcome of something .

Saturday 3 / 23 consequences : 1,2,3 scoring . First place went to Emerson , Alley , Wallace and Hitz with a score of 109 . Second place finishers were : Harp , Bonino , Bachenberg and L . Johnson with a score of 111 .

Saturday , 3 / 30 consequences : 1,2,3 , Stableford scoring . First place went to Lewis , Sharwatt , M . Johnson and Wilcox with a score of 94 . Second place finishers were Tyler , Cummings , Benesh and Wells with a score of 85 . All results can be found in Golf Genius , 18-hole tab .

Wednesday 4 / 3 play : Gross winners are : Potter ( 64 ), Harp and J . Robinson . Net winners are Edison ( -3), Mason , Miller and Rawlings .

Saturday , 4 / 6 play : the team of Emerson , Devries , Bonino and Way managed to take first for the day with a net 49 score . Placing second ( Jack , Oberg , Johnson and Maxwell ), third ( Ryan , Gibbons , Landis and Wilcox ) and fourth ( Taylor , Mason , B . Johnson and Lewis ), all with a net 50 .

Upcoming events : Memorial Day couples golf scramble and dinner is scheduled for Monday , May 27 . Golf begins at 2 p . m . with a shotgun start and dinner to follow at 6:30 p . m . Registration opens on Monday , May 20 for this event .

Fun and possibly sketchy encouragement :

For your friend who tops a shot or misses a putt , “ most people wouldn ’ t lay up from there .”

When your buddy misses a putt : “ right club though .”

The uglier a man ’ s legs are , the better he plays golf It ’ s almost a law ( credit H . G . Wells ).

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