14
Q & A
LIFESTYLE & WELLBEING
Q..
Naya, my son is moving to the North
Island to start a new job. I am very
proud of his achievements and he is a good
person. The problem is mine. I am smiling
on the outside - however I am unable to
sleep most nights worrying over what
could happen to him. I know he’ll be fine,
but I can’t seem to stop this anxiety. JP
A..
You are following your natural instincts
as a mother to protect your child.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t believe in
him, or trust in his abilities. You’re a mum
doing what mums are supposed to do.
A little worry is a good thing; it keeps us
safe. I’m sure you’ve taught him to take care
of himself. Now he is a grown man who gets
to experience life and learn about himself.
Support him with your actions not worries,
show him you are confident in his decision-
making and respect his opinions. And
congratulations on raising a fine young man.
Q..
Dear Naya, Thank you so much for all
your help. My anxieties and depression
have been under control for four years
now. Recently, I made a new friend whom
I thought I could help because she was
going through a lot of the same things
I experienced years ago. I find myself
spinning out and worrying too much again.
I can’t abandon my friend, but I don’t want
to go backwards either. Help. UA
A..
Hey, glad you are doing well. You need
to get your friend to see a mental
health professional right away, before you
start to mimic her and repeat your past
behaviours. There are a wealth of good
psychologists, counsellors, and mental
health practitioners here in Blenheim. When
I worked with you, you had already had
sessions with a clinical psychologist, which
is a good place for your friend to start.
Hypnotherapy can be a great help as well.
She needs the help of a trained professional,
so gather up the names and numbers of
people and organisations she can get help
from. That’s being a good friend.
Q..
My son has taken to wearing nail
polish. He’s a normal sporty, outgoing
boy, has many friends and does well in
school. I don’t think he understands how
other people might view this. What should
I do?
A..
Take a cue on self-confidence from your
son. Rock Stars wear nail polish! Make
-up rules and roles are changing. He sounds
like a trendsetter. If you’re concerned, look
into his life to see how well he is managing
school, grades, and friendships, then
naya cunningham
reconsider whether wearing a bit of sparkle
is a statement about his sexuality or just
fun. Do you think you might need to work
on not worrying so much about what other
people think?
Q..
My husband always has to be right.
Always! I fantasise about going on
holiday by myself. If he breaks a glass,
it’s my fault because I could’ve moved it
somewhere it wouldn’t be bumped into.
Nothing is ever right. We are both in
our 70s and it’s too late to chuck in this
relationship now. Any suggestions?
A..
Your sanity is on the line here, and I’m
guessing he won’t do well with change.
But don’t be fooled, an old dog can learn
new tricks. Only if it has to. Make sure
you have lots to occupy yourself. Hobbies,
walks, friendships, clubs, etc. Invite him
to join in and if he misbehaves cut it short
and without being authoritative just say
being criticised doesn’t work for you.
Repeat, repeat, repeat, and eventually he’ll
understand that if he wants to share your
time he needs to hold his tongue. If he
doesn’t, well that’s a choice he’s making.
Make sure you live your own life, not be an
extension of his.
mind and body concepts
For further support call to make a confidential appointment with Naya Ph 579 5606 WWW.NAYACUNNINGHAM.COM
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naya cunningham
mind and body therapy
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