Marlborough Magazine June 2018 | Page 14

14 Q & A LIFESTYLE & WELLBEING Q.. Naya, my son is moving to the North Island to start a new job. I am very proud of his achievements and he is a good person. The problem is mine. I am smiling on the outside - however I am unable to sleep most nights worrying over what could happen to him. I know he’ll be fine, but I can’t seem to stop this anxiety. JP A.. You are following your natural instincts as a mother to protect your child. It doesn’t mean that you don’t believe in him, or trust in his abilities. You’re a mum doing what mums are supposed to do. A little worry is a good thing; it keeps us safe. I’m sure you’ve taught him to take care of himself. Now he is a grown man who gets to experience life and learn about himself. Support him with your actions not worries, show him you are confident in his decision- making and respect his opinions. And congratulations on raising a fine young man. Q.. Dear Naya, Thank you so much for all your help. My anxieties and depression have been under control for four years now. Recently, I made a new friend whom I thought I could help because she was going through a lot of the same things I experienced years ago. I find myself spinning out and worrying too much again. I can’t abandon my friend, but I don’t want to go backwards either. Help. UA A.. Hey, glad you are doing well. You need to get your friend to see a mental health professional right away, before you start to mimic her and repeat your past behaviours. There are a wealth of good psychologists, counsellors, and mental health practitioners here in Blenheim. When I worked with you, you had already had sessions with a clinical psychologist, which is a good place for your friend to start. Hypnotherapy can be a great help as well. She needs the help of a trained professional, so gather up the names and numbers of people and organisations she can get help from. That’s being a good friend. Q.. My son has taken to wearing nail polish. He’s a normal sporty, outgoing boy, has many friends and does well in school. I don’t think he understands how other people might view this. What should I do? A.. Take a cue on self-confidence from your son. Rock Stars wear nail polish! Make -up rules and roles are changing. He sounds like a trendsetter. If you’re concerned, look into his life to see how well he is managing school, grades, and friendships, then naya cunningham reconsider whether wearing a bit of sparkle is a statement about his sexuality or just fun. Do you think you might need to work on not worrying so much about what other people think? Q.. My husband always has to be right. Always! I fantasise about going on holiday by myself. If he breaks a glass, it’s my fault because I could’ve moved it somewhere it wouldn’t be bumped into. Nothing is ever right. We are both in our 70s and it’s too late to chuck in this relationship now. Any suggestions? A.. Your sanity is on the line here, and I’m guessing he won’t do well with change. But don’t be fooled, an old dog can learn new tricks. Only if it has to. Make sure you have lots to occupy yourself. Hobbies, walks, friendships, clubs, etc. Invite him to join in and if he misbehaves cut it short and without being authoritative just say being criticised doesn’t work for you. Repeat, repeat, repeat, and eventually he’ll understand that if he wants to share your time he needs to hold his tongue. If he doesn’t, well that’s a choice he’s making. Make sure you live your own life, not be an extension of his. mind and body concepts For further support call to make a confidential appointment with Naya Ph 579 5606 WWW.NAYACUNNINGHAM.COM HAVE A QUESTION FOR OUR LOCAL EXPERT? Email [email protected] or text 0274 262 447. All correspondence is confidential. naya cunningham mind and body therapy NEW S S A L C E L U D SCHE YOUR CREATIVE PLACE IN MARLBOROUGH Beginners Dressmaking Make a Saporo Coat Beginners Baby Quilt Pattern Drafting Thread Painting 24 th July - 28 th August 7 th - 8 th July 28 th July 9 th August - 13 th September 25 th - 26 th August Overlocking with Confidence 8 th - 9 th September Contact us for more details, more classes and to book your spot 29 High St, Blenheim . (03) 578 7801 . [email protected] . TheSewingStore.co.nz visit www.asbtheatre.com